In "The Evidence Bible" published in 2011, there is a note on "Which is right, Calvinism or Arminianism?" Here is most of the long article.
How do God's sovereign grace and man's responsibility to turn to Him fit together? For example, Ezek. 33:11 says, "As I live, says the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live. Turn, turn from your evil ways! For why should you die...?"
It is clear from Scripture that He grants us repentance (Acts 5:31; 11:18), and He also gives us faith as a gift (Rom. 12:3), But He then commands all men everywhere to repent and to have faith (believe). See Mark 1:15; Acts 17:30. We read that God "is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance" (2 Pet. 3:9, emphasis added).
Charles Spurgeon proclaimed divine sovereignty yet he also preached man's responsibility, although he admitted that he didn't understand how they fit together. Consider his exhortations to the sinner: "Believe in Jesus, and though you are now in slippery places your feet shall soon be set upon a rock of safety"; "Sinner fly to Christ"; "O sinner, humble yourself under the mighty hand of God..." And it is the sinner's responsibility to trust in the Savior: "Trust Christ with your soul and He will save it. I know you will not do this unless the Holy Spirit constrains you, but this does not remove your responsibility."
The Armenian and Calvinist views are diametrically opposed to each other, yet believers on both sides point to a thousand verses to back their theology. If you choose one view or the other, don't let your choice cut you off from others who may believe differently. The two opposing truths can walk together. All that is missing is some information for them to harmonize. The day will come when we will understand everything (1 Cor 13:12), and it is then we will be so glad that we didn't cause division by arguing about which one is right.
Sadly, church history has shown us that Christ-centered men of God have clashed over these issues (e.g., Wesley and Whitefield). More recently, I have seen brethren make a theological stand and much to their dismay, they were marked by their home church as "troublemakers." Fine missionaries have been pulled from the field, pastors fired from the ministry, and churches have split, simply because of different views of God's sovereignty.
So, if you do get it worked out, be careful that you strive to keep unity among the brethren, and then focus on your God-given commission. Firefighters exist to fight fires, not to fight each other. They must have unity of purpose. Every moment that you and I spend arguing about theological interpretation is time we have lost forever, that could have been spent in prayer for the unsaved or in seeking to save that which is lost.