I agree every divorce is different. However, every divorce is messy. Especially if there’s children involved. Meshing two divorced families typically doesn’t go well. Bringing a man into the home of children is very difficult and confusing for children.
My experience tells me that a man or woman will not treat the wife’s children or the man’s children as his or her own and the children may not be able to articulate it, but they feel it.
The ex’s will be a part of that man or woman’s life forever. Typically, either are unable to act like adults and they take it out on the step kids.
And when the child or children act out because of the disastrous mess that their parents threw them into, the step parents typically for whatever reason treat the step kids like crap.
And to top it off, the step parents kids are always and I mean always sooooooo much better in every way than the new spouses kids.
And the parents typically use the kids as a weapon. And the kids feel that. They know.
To be clear, my parents were married for 40 years before my dad died.
Make sense?