Sproul's advice on dealing with son's live in girlfriend.

Hard words, but they seem to come from Scripture.  Would love to, however, hear other people's thoughts on this.
 
1 Cor 5
I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral [porneos – fornicators] people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world [unbelievers], or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go OUT of the world. But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to EAT with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders [unbelievers]? Do you not judge those who are within the church? But those who are outside, God judges. REMOVE THE WICKED MAN FROM AMONG YOURSELVES.

Medical Research has shown the parts of the brain needed for decision making, emotion, etc..are not fully developed until age 21-23. For most,puberty is still completing. Raging hormones to battle. He needs lots of love, physical affection from both sexes which hopefully will help fulfill part of the need to be touched. Family Prayer and witnessing is imperative. He must not be judged, this is a command. See the red ^^above.

Depending upon whether they are saved ("called a Brother, deemed a brother) vs Unsaved, the biblical protocol is the exact opposite. Whether he made a profession of faith, understood the fundamentals of the faith and joined the church independently of his parents within the last 24 months should factor in. Otherwise he's probably listed in the church directory under his parents whom decided to join. Many children profess faith at some point to appease their parents. But Children go to heaven anyway. And... Society doesn't even feel he is "adult enough" to drink beer at that age. At least here in California.

Then he said, "I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven Matt 18:3 

How heartbreaking to deny him eating with his own parents. He's too young to be treated as a Tax Collector. (Matt 18:15-17.) Just my humble opinion.

 
BandGuy said:
Hard words, but they seem to come from Scripture.  Would love to, however, hear other people's thoughts on this.
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I agree on both counts. They are hard words but do come from Scripture.

There is a prominent philosophy in the contemporary church...with roots in seeker sensitive....that the church should be careful to not offend the lost. With our contrary views on morality being in the forefront, they turn off the culture.

This would certainly offend the culture as judgemental and intolerant, but it is Biblical. Which goes to the reason some in the relevant church movement seek to diminish the authority of scripture.
 
Castor Muscular said:
Tarheel Baptist said:
Is he right or wrong?

http://highlandsministriesonline.org/ask-rc/ask-rc-what-should-our-relationship-be-with-our-oldest-son-and-his-live-in-girlfriend-2/
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Wrong, on at least some counts. 

His first mistake was to fail to ask where the son lives.  If the son lives in Texas, for example, then he's probably already married to his girlfriend, according to Texas common-law marriage.
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Probably because he considers sin a 'heart issue' and not a legal technicality.
Only an assumption on my part, though.
 
Tarheel Baptist said:
Probably because he considers sin a 'heart issue' and not a legal technicality.
Only an assumption on my part, though.
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I only skimmed the article, but I didn't see where he claims to know the son's heart. 
 
Castor Muscular said:
Tarheel Baptist said:
Probably because he considers sin a 'heart issue' and not a legal technicality.
Only an assumption on my part, though.
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I only skimmed the article, but I didn't see where he claims to know the son's heart.
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I didn't say he did.
I said he probably considers SIN a heart matter and not a legal technicality.
If you don't believe a sin is being committed, then you obviously don't think the response was correct!
 
Biker said:
How heartbreaking to deny him eating with his own parents. He's too young to be treated as a Tax Collector. (Matt 18:15-17.) Just my humble opinion.
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But he's old enough to be living with a woman as though they were married. If he wants to behave as an adult, he can be treated as one.

Personally, I don't know if a literal application of 1 Cor. 5:11 is necessarily the most biblical way in 2013. After all, it was written in a time and culture that put a greater value and significance on hospitality. There's probably a contemporary way of shunning an apostate's company that is more faithful to the spirit of Paul's instructions.
 
Ransom said:
There's probably a contemporary way of shunning an apostate's company that is more faithful to the spirit of Paul's instructions.
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Unfriend him on facebook. 
 
Ransom said:
Biker said:
How heartbreaking to deny him eating with his own parents. He's too young to be treated as a Tax Collector. (Matt 18:15-17.) Just my humble opinion.
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But he's old enough to be living with a woman as though they were married. If he wants to behave as an adult, he can be treated as one.

Personally, I don't know if a literal application of 1 Cor. 5:11 is necessarily the most biblical way in 2013. After all, it was written in a time and culture that put a greater value and significance on hospitality. There's probably a contemporary way of shunning an apostate's company that is more faithful to the spirit of Paul's instructions.
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Amen!  That silly out dated book. Isn't for today!
 
If 19 isn't too young to go to hell, then it isn't too young to learn that sin brings separation and death.  What kind of example would a parent set by saying that "Oh, we don't have to worry about the effects of your sin until you're, like, 45?"

Sproul (jr here) is spot on with this one.
 
OZZY said:
Amen!  That silly out dated book. Isn't for today!
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Thanks for the timely reminder that although it was the Scarecrow who yearned for a brain, that didn't mean his friend the Tin Man already had one.
 
Castor Muscular said:
Ransom said:
There's probably a contemporary way of shunning an apostate's company that is more faithful to the spirit of Paul's instructions.
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Unfriend him on facebook.
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Of course we know that Paul's instructions are not Inspired and are not for Today thanks to the all knowing  wizard of FFF Ransom
 
Ransom said:
Biker said:
How heartbreaking to deny him eating with his own parents. He's too young to be treated as a Tax Collector. (Matt 18:15-17.) Just my humble opinion.
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But he's old enough to be living with a woman as though they were married. If he wants to behave as an adult, he can be treated as one.
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Fornicating is not behaving "as an adult". It's just what comes natural to all ages. To fulfil that basic need. To pair up and get help with the endeavor... which otherwise besets the whole frickin day...seems expected.

Whether the biblical foundation was set which dictates church discipline is a mystery. Contrary to the article, a simple profession of faith doesn't automatically put a human under the authority of Church Elders.

Fornication is serious sin but nothing like what the typical sexual sin consists of, Whoredom. Women/Men paid (or benefitting in some manner) to provide immoral means for others sexual gratification. Usually via the computer.
The christian couple who watches a movie with strangers, aka actors, whoring themselves is more of a concern to me. They've defiled themselves, and a Godly institution.

Personally, I don't know if a literal application of 1 Cor. 5:11 is necessarily the most biblical way in 2013. After all, it was written in a time and culture that put a greater value and significance on hospitality. There's probably a contemporary way of shunning an apostate's company that is more faithful to the spirit of Paul's instructions.
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True. And Jesus ate with Sinners (those that DID NOT profess faith). Whether or not the Son professed faith as an adult, we aren't privy. Whether he became a church member submitting to it's authority, we aren't told that either, unfortunately. There are circumstances when simply asking the fornicating couple not to come back is justified. Church is for the saved.
 
Reformed Guy said:
If 19 isn't too young to go to hell, then it isn't too young to learn that sin brings separation and death.  What kind of example would a parent set by saying that "Oh, we don't have to worry about the effects of your sin until you're, like, 45?"
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I get the jist of your point. Sin bringing fourth separation and death, for a Christian Couple, would've hopefully  have been fully explained to their Son long before he shacked up.

Sproul (jr here) is spot on with this one.
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Not necessarily. When Church discipline is carried out without justification, it's abuse.
 
Ransom said:
Personally, I don't know if a literal application of 1 Cor. 5:11 is necessarily the most biblical way in 2013.
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It is 2013, but man's heart has not changed.
Mark 7:20-23-
And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,  Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.
I Cor 5:11-
But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.

A few millennia past there were religious people who thought they could disobey the word of God, too.  I wonder if they tried to justify themselves to Jesus by saying, "I don't think a literal application of what you are teaching is the most biblical way for 30 AD."  The Lord had some choice words for them,  "Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye." Mark 7:13  "And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God."  Luke 16:15
 
Tarheel Baptist said:
Is he right or wrong?

http://highlandsministriesonline.org/ask-rc/ask-rc-what-should-our-relationship-be-with-our-oldest-son-and-his-live-in-girlfriend-2/
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He is wrong. Church discipline is a function of the church, not the family. The family unit is comprised of believers and unbelievers. The family is not the church. By all means, exclude him from the fellowship of the church, but to suggest that he is not welcome at a family gathering is without Scriptural merit.
 
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