If anyone knows how to split a church, it's gotta be a HACker.
I'll start with this one. Which way is right? Who decides?
I'll start with this one. Which way is right? Who decides?
This'll Split Your Church!
- Thread starter IFB X-Files
- Start date
lnf said:B is correct...I decide because I'm the only one who actually knows how to hang a roll. Everybody else just sets it on the counter. :
I beg to differ. "A" keeps the paper closer to the wall making accidental spillage less likely thereby saving God's money.
Perhaps you failed to appreciate the length and breadth of my superior experience, here.
I am a professional steward of God's money and I have conducted professional studies on the proper hanging of a roll of toilet paper, with professional scientific evidence. I offer the only professional expertise available on this subject. In fact, I have written THE definitive guidebook. It is entitled How A Christian Improves Failing Bathrooms Look for it on Amazon, for only $29.95, with free super saver shipping. It's a must-have for a fully improved reading room.
I am a professional steward of God's money and I have conducted professional studies on the proper hanging of a roll of toilet paper, with professional scientific evidence. I offer the only professional expertise available on this subject. In fact, I have written THE definitive guidebook. It is entitled How A Christian Improves Failing Bathrooms Look for it on Amazon, for only $29.95, with free super saver shipping. It's a must-have for a fully improved reading room.
So that is YOUR book, huh? Well, that explains a lot. We purchased that book "used" on Amazon for .01 ($3.99 shipping) and after reading through the first chapter we realized we paid too much! My pastor's ex-wife's sisters blind seeing-eye dog has a better sense of decor than you!
And who picked out the color of that tile? Everyone KNOWS you need CONTRASTING tile color from the color of the TP.
And who picked out the color of that tile? Everyone KNOWS you need CONTRASTING tile color from the color of the TP.
Ahhhh....the life of the local church.
Our former church met in a remodeled/modified ranch house. When we overfilled it, we put a 75x60 modular building up.
One of our good men loved to give out candy to the kids. Well, when the new auditorium was ready, he was told by some old cranky woman to not do that as "they'll spill it on our new carpet".
Needless to say that when he was told that, he and his wife left the church. Childish? Probably, but a good example of someone who had no business saying anything running off a good family.
Anyone have another good example or experience?
Our former church met in a remodeled/modified ranch house. When we overfilled it, we put a 75x60 modular building up.
One of our good men loved to give out candy to the kids. Well, when the new auditorium was ready, he was told by some old cranky woman to not do that as "they'll spill it on our new carpet".
Needless to say that when he was told that, he and his wife left the church. Childish? Probably, but a good example of someone who had no business saying anything running off a good family.
Anyone have another good example or experience?
Since I'm on this, would you leave a church if your pastor divorced his wife? Or no big deal?
Years ago I visited this church: http://www.visitbiblebaptist.com/about.html The woman there is his second wife. He dumped his first (while pastoring) and then married this other church woman.
Needless to say, I did not know this when I visited, but it was a VERY interesting experience. But no bid deal, right?
Years ago I visited this church: http://www.visitbiblebaptist.com/about.html The woman there is his second wife. He dumped his first (while pastoring) and then married this other church woman.
Needless to say, I did not know this when I visited, but it was a VERY interesting experience. But no bid deal, right?
IFB X-Files said:
Yeah, well, I do apologize for the photographs. I told my editor that he should have hired a local independent fundamental photographer, but he owed a favor to his brother. You see, his wife's hairdresser's son's friend (from Hellywood, no less!) really needed a job. I had no idea at the time that she was a flaming charismatic!
aleshanee said:IFB X-Files said:If anyone knows how to split a church, it's gotta be a HACker.
I'll start with this one. Which way is right? Who decides?
is that picture from your own bathroom or your church bathroom?.... coz those tile colors look like the kind they put in public restrooms to get you in and out as quickly as possible .... ??? .. .. it kinda looks like a cross between the toe jam green and breakfast barf brown color scheme they use to make you feel grossed out and not wanting to spend much time in there.... :-\ ... ..
i agree with lnf... B is correct... not only because it saves money but also because it makes it less likely you will accidentaly rub the paper against the wall while pulling it off the roll... and therefore be less likely to come in contact with undesirable things that might be on that wall.. and which also might blend in with toe jam green and breakfast barf brown...
edit.... sorry... my mistake... .i wasn;t thinking of toe jam green..... it;s more of cross between septic snot yellowish green and breakfast barf brown... ...... had my color schemes mixed up......
Laugh Out Loud Funny!
aleshanee said:is that picture from your own bathroom or your church bathroom?.... coz those tile colors look like the kind they put in public restrooms to get you in and out as quickly as possible .... ??? .. .. it kinda looks like a cross between the toe jam green and breakfast barf brown color scheme they use to make you feel grossed out and not wanting to spend much time in there.... :-\ ... ..
i agree with lnf... B is correct... not only because it saves money but also because it makes it less likely you will accidentaly rub the paper against the wall while pulling it off the roll... and therefore be less likely to come in contact with undesirable things that might be on that wall.. and which also might blend in with toe jam green and breakfast barf brown...
edit.... sorry... my mistake... .i wasn;t thinking of toe jam green..... it;s more of cross between septic snot yellowish green and breakfast barf brown... ...... had my color schemes mixed up......
Honey, my third WIFE is on the COMMITTEE that picked those colors. They "fasted and prayed" before going down to hardware store. She told me to tell YOU that she will see YOU at the next business meeting.
aleshanee said:
My favorite color! I got a little weepy when I read that!
[size=18pt]So no one on here has any stories to tell about church splits? I really find that hard to believe.
C'mon now...fess up!
C'mon now...fess up!
4 church ladies go to the carpet store to pick out new carpet for the church.
Only one lady will get her way. How does she do it?
Only one lady will get her way. How does she do it?
aleshanee said:
Well, I certainly hope you hobbled to your Home Depot and hoisted your big toe up to the paint counter and had them scan that color. You don't let opportunities like that go to waste.