What makes people stay?

[TruthInLove]

I know that there has been a mass exodus from the church, but it appears that there are still people that attend. Having been a former member that left, I can't help but wonder what it is that keeps people there?

1. 3.7 million dollars of debt
2. Lack of spiritual food
3. Allegations/accusations of sexual misconduct by the current pastor

Surely those three reasons would be enough for those that are still there to at least start prayerfully considering other options.

I guess the old saying is true, "You can't see the forest thru the trees".

 

[Just me]

I know that there has been a mass exodus from the church, but it appears that there are still people that attend. Having been a former member that left, I can't help but wonder what it is that keeps people there?

1. 3.7 million dollars of debt
2. Lack of spiritual food
3. Allegations/accusations of sexual misconduct by the current pastor

Surely those three reasons would be enough for those that are still there to at least start prayerfully considering other options.

I guess the old saying is true, "You can't see the forest thru the trees".

A misplaced loyalty to a man that has been brainwashed in to peoples heads.  It is classic cultic minipulation playing on peoples sincere hearts and intentions.  The people think their loyalty is to Christ but it is not as evidenced by their choosing to stay despite the sexual misconduct of the pastor.  There loyalty is actually to a man/system and they are fooled by their own good hearts and a smooth talking charasmatic figure.  I realize Tom is not charasmatic in any way but he is reaping the benefits of his daddies charisma over the years.  The ones remaining are the ones staunchly dedicated to JAV.

But the good news is that as time rolls on they are having heir eyes opened to the truth of the minipulation they have succumbed to and will walk away eventually.  Further good news is that Tom is not nearly as vicious as his daddy and the consequences of leaving are not really what they use to be.  Mainly because they are spending so much time right now on damage control they cannot do much attacking of those leaving.  They can only generally take shots at the group as a whole. 

And that is good news for those who have left recently.

 

[.tim]

Saturday I ran into a lady who attends our old Church Cult. We talked about all the new rules, people who have left, this and that .... I found myself wondering how she could keep attending. My wife later said it was "comfort" ...

I agree. People like her stay because it is more comfortable then looking for a new Church. And, generally, they are still with some friends.

I also believe some stay because they still remember the years of 10% + more they have given ... they want to see what happens with what they helped build.

 

[JustABigKid]

I think it simply comes down to they don't want to change what they are doing. Some of these people have been doing the same thing for 20-30 years and despite the wrong doings of the pastor they feel that what they are doing is important and they don't want to let those people down even though the pastor is letting them down.

It is very said cause you can hear it in their voice and the words they say that they don't really want to be there anymore but it is all they have known and the unkown is more scary than the known.

 

[ItinerantPreacher]

I think there is an element of truth to the fact that people become convinced it wont be different anywhere else. We see people leaving very modern, progressive churches saying that.

 

[TruthInLove]

Saturday I ran into a lady who attends our old Church Cult. We talked about all the new rules, people who have left, this and that .... I found myself wondering how she could keep attending. My wife later said it was "comfort" ...

I agree. People like her stay because it is more comfortable then looking for a new Church. And, generally, they are still with some friends.

I also believe some stay because they still remember the years of 10% + more they have given ... they want to see what happens with what they helped build.

I think it simply comes down to they don't want to change what they are doing. Some of these people have been doing the same thing for 20-30 years and despite the wrong doings of the pastor they feel that what they are doing is important and they don't want to let those people down even though the pastor is letting them down.

It is very said cause you can hear it in their voice and the words they say that they don't really want to be there anymore but it is all they have known and the unkown is more scary than the known.

I hear what you are saying and must agree that the fear of the unknown is intimidating. When we left Windsor, I made the unfortunate mistake of going to another church in the area that is similar to Windsor. It took quite some time for me to realize that most, but not all, IFB churches are similar to Windsor in philosophy and practice and I made a conscious decision to remove my family from that type of environment. I also asked the Lord to give me wisdom in looking for another church and to help me avoid putting my family back in that type of church. It took our family about 5-6 months to find a church that we were comfortable with, but we found one and are very happy.

Through it all, the Lord has shown me that being a Christian is much more enjoyable when you cultivate a relationship with Him rather than trying to follow a set of rules or please/seek approval from men

 

[Just me]

I hear what you are saying and must agree that the fear of the unknown is intimidating. When we left Windsor, I made the unfortunate mistake of going to another church in the area that is similar to Windsor. It took quite some time for me to realize that most, but not all, IFB churches are similar to Windsor in philosophy and practice and I made a conscious decision to remove my family from that type of environment. I also asked the Lord to give me wisdom in looking for another church and to help me avoid putting my family back in that type of church. It took our family about 5-6 months to find a church that we were comfortable with, but we found one and are very happy.

Through it all, the Lord has shown me that being a Christian is much more enjoyable when you cultivate a relationship with Him rather than trying to follow a set of rules or please/seek approval from men

You simply have to sever all ties with that place

I like your last statement about cultivating a relationship with Him

 

[Walt]

Through it all, the Lord has shown me that being a Christian is much more enjoyable when you cultivate a relationship with Him rather than trying to follow a set of rules or please/seek approval from men

I think this is the answer to the OP as to why people stay; they either don't have a relationship with Christ, or they don't want to put in time to seek His will - they would rather have a cult leader tell them the rules to follow to be "spiritual". Here's the "do" list; here's the "don't" list - if you follow these rules, you are "spiritual".  Thus, they are dependent upon a man/organization rather than Christ, and thus they stay despite everything.

 

[TruthBearer]

Through it all, the Lord has shown me that being a Christian is much more enjoyable when you cultivate a relationship with Him rather than trying to follow a set of rules or please/seek approval from men

I think this is the answer to the OP as to why people stay; they either don't have a relationship with Christ, or they don't want to put in time to seek His will - they would rather have a cult leader tell them the rules to follow to be "spiritual". Here's the "do" list; here's the "don't" list - if you follow these rules, you are "spiritual".  Thus, they are dependent upon a man/organization rather than Christ, and thus they stay despite everything.

It is a shame that people don't want to take the time to have a relationship with Christ, or seek to find his will for their lives.

If a person doesn't do this then why even attend a church?

One problem I have seen with many Christian's is non-Christian's usually have a better argument because many Christian's don't know what they believe. They never read or study the Bible they just go to church on Sunday and listen to whatever some man has to say to feel good about themselves for being a faithful church member.

Their religion is focused on self-service and doing what makes them feel good about themselves. If they read the Bible and comprehended what it says they would not think this way. They would know it is not about them but about others.

When you have a whole congregation that acts this way it is not surprising for them to stay under a pastor that seeks to serve himself, do things that bring glory to himself and makes himself feel good.

They are the ideal match of self centered people with a self centered pastor. They see nothing wrong because they support being self centered because that is the way they are and they don't even realize it because they don't read their Bible's to find out or know how important they really are according to God's word. The Bible calls these types of people Pharisee's.

Matthew 6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

 

[AlvinMartinezVoice]

It certainly isn't the charisma of Tom Vineyard or his "preaching". At least Jimmy V had charisma and personality and tell jokes like his friend Hyles used to do.