Wives, Sisters, and Daughters, Please Speak

[biscuit1953]

I doubt if there is anyone on this forum who is opposed to background checks for anyone working with minors or children in churches. That implies that there are boundaries or limits as to what a member is allowed to participate in. I also believe because of the lack of punishment for serious crimes it produces more crime because of the lack of fear. In the past a violent rape was subject to the death penalty and anyone thinking about such a crime knew it. I believe it should be reinstated. Even if that never happens, no one should never have to live in fear because a rapist is walking the streets because a judge or parole panel felt sorry for the perpetrator.
With that being said, I also believe if someone who was guilty of that crime and wants to join a church after serving his sentence, as long as that he isn’t alone with children and there are certain activities he may be restricted to then he should be allowed to fellowship as a brother in Christ.

 

[Bruh]

This is a clip that may be hard to watch for some. Just letting everyone know up front.

My question is this, does anyone on here disagree with the way this father handled his sons sexual abuser?

It’s also good to point out that the father is from south Louisiana and maybe that’s the difference. My grandmother always you to say, we different people down here.

 

[Bruh]

I doubt if there is anyone on this forum who is opposed to background checks for anyone working with minors or children in churches. That implies that there are boundaries or limits as to what a member is allowed to participate in. I also believe because of the lack of punishment for serious crimes it produces more crime because of the lack of fear. In the past a violent rape was subject to the death penalty and anyone thinking about such a crime knew it. I believe it should be reinstated. Even if that never happens, no one should ever have to live in fear because a rapist is walking the streets because a judge or parole panel felt sorry for the perpetrator.
With that being said, I also believe if someone who was guilty of that crime and wants to join a church after serving his sentence, as long as that he isn’t alone with children and there are certain activities he may be restricted to then he should be allowed to fellowship as a brother in Christ.

“no one should ever have to live in fear because a rapist is walking the streets”

But you are absolutely ok with him in your church as a member.

 

[Bruh]

So which do you have more contempt for, the offender who wants to grow in grace with the help of other Christians, or the Church who wants to do the helping?

More contempt? Wow! That’s putting it lightly when talking about a sexual predator.

It’s weird that you’d even ask me that but it’s whatever.

The sexual predator of course. But if you want to risk a sexual predator lusting after young boys and girls……

 

[Ransom]

It’s weird that you’d even ask me that but it’s whatever.

Still allergic to straight answers, eh?

 

[Bruh]

Still allergic to straight answers, eh?

I gave a straight answer. What are you talking about?

 

[Ransom]

I gave a straight answer. What are you talking about?

A straight answer is not one where you grouse about the question.

 

[Bruh]

A straight answer is not one where you grouse about the question.

The sexual predator of course.

This is my answer to his question.

If I want to comment about his question I can do that too

 

[ALAYMAN]

More contempt? Wow! That’s putting it lightly when talking about a sexual predator.

It’s weird that you’d even ask me that but it’s whatever.

What’s weird about it? And do you think you could ever not have contempt against such a person?

The sexual predator of course. But if you want to risk a sexual predator lusting after young boys and girls……

OK, you made yourself clear that your contempt is for the one who has offended. So, do you have contempt for those who try to minister to them and would allow them in their congregation with the congregation’s approval?

 

[ALAYMAN]

..,, But, he was sent to another Baptist church....sound familiar?

Some people are leery of church inquiries and letters of transfer, but your example is the perfect reason that Church should communicate with each other. When a person comes to our church and wants to be a member, we asked them where they’re coming from and if they would mind if we contacted their last church. It’s not as if we’re trying to be punitive or censorious, but thorough and prudent.

 

[Bruh]

What’s weird about it? And do you think you could ever not have contempt against such a person?


OK, you made yourself clear that your contempt is for the one who has offended. So, do you have contempt for those who try to minister to them and would allow them in their congregation with the congregation’s approval?

“is for the one who has offended.” I’d rather call them what they are, child molester.

I don’t know that it’s contempt. But more has to do with the leaderships lack of discernment. And more interested in restoring someone who molested children than the safety of the children. Because as you’ve stated, no plan is 100%.

As far as the congregations approval. How would you go about finding out the approval or the disapproval?

 

[Bruh]

What’s weird about it? And do you think you could ever not have contempt against such a person?


OK, you made yourself clear that your contempt is for the one who has offended. So, do you have contempt for those who try to minister to them and would allow them in their congregation with the congregation’s approval?

“And do you think you could ever not have contempt against such a person?”

Why don’t you have contempt for such a person?

No, there will always and forever be contempt. Are you kidding me? You should to!!

Shame on you!!

 

[ALAYMAN]

First you say…

I don’t know that it’s contempt.

Then you say…

Why don’t you have contempt for such a person?

You seem confused and contradictory. What gives? Do you have contempt for a repentant pedophile or not?

But more has to do with the leaderships lack of discernment. And more interested in restoring someone who molested children than the safety of the children. Because as you’ve stated, no plan is 100%.

“More interested” is misleading language. Safety can be achieved if protocols are followed appropriately.

As far as the congregations approval. How would you go about finding out the approval or the disapproval?

Meet with them and discuss it with them, seeking their views on the subject. Not everyone thinks like you.

 

[ALAYMAN]

“And do you think you could ever not have contempt against such a person?”

Why don’t you have contempt for such a person?

No, there will always and forever be contempt. Are you kidding me? You should to!!

Shame on you!!

I don’t think you understand the gospel, its implications, and its effects.

And your tone sounds like an unhinged snowflake who just got deadnamed or misgendered.

 

[Bruh]

First you say…

Then you say…


You seem confused and contradictory. What gives? Do you have contempt for a repentant pedophile or not?


“More interested” is misleading language. Safety can be achieved if protocols are followed appropriately.

Meet with them and discuss it with them, seeking their views on the subject. Not everyone thinks like you.

I was referring to contempt for the church when I said, I don’t know. “But more has to do with the leaderships lack of discernment.”

Then when I said, why don’t you have contempt for these people was in reference to the sexual predator.

“And do you think you could ever not have contempt against such a person?”

Why don’t you have contempt for such a person?

Would all adult members be there? Woman as well?

 

[ALAYMAN]

I was referring to contempt for the church when I said, I don’t know. “But more has to do with the leaderships lack of discernment.”

Then when I said, why don’t you have contempt for these people was in reference to the sexual predator.

“And do you think you could ever not have contempt against such a person?”

Why don’t you have contempt for such a person?

Would all adult members be there? Woman as well?

So, your position isn’t just you disagree with allowing a church to be autonomous and decide policies and decisions for themselves, but that they should have contempt and ridicule for these people. Got it. Sounds pretty Christian to carry contempt around for fellow believers, NOT.

The reason I don’t have the level of contempt that you do is because I know what God has done in forgiving me. I understand what forgiveness really means. And I believe the scriptures that says that if we aren’t willing to forgive that we shouldn’t expect forgiveness ourselves.

 

[Bruh]

So, your position isn’t just you disagree with allowing a church to be autonomous and decide policies and decisions for themselves, but that they should have contempt and ridicule for these people. Got it. Sounds pretty Christian to carry contempt around for fellow believers, NOT.

The reason I don’t have the level of contempt that you do is because I know what God has done in forgiving me. I understand what forgiveness really means. And I believe the scriptures that says that if we aren’t willing to forgive that we shouldn’t expect forgiveness ourselves.

Would all adult members be there? Woman as well? When making a decision whether or not to allow the sexual abuser to be a member?

 

[Bruh]

So, your position isn’t just you disagree with allowing a church to be autonomous and decide policies and decisions for themselves, but that they should have contempt and ridicule for these people. Got it. Sounds pretty Christian to carry contempt around for fellow believers, NOT.

The reason I don’t have the level of contempt that you do is because I know what God has done in forgiving me. I understand what forgiveness really means. And I believe the scriptures that says that if we aren’t willing to forgive that we shouldn’t expect forgiveness ourselves.

“So, your position isn’t just you disagree with allowing a church to be autonomous and decide policies and decisions for themselves,”

Any church can allow sexual predators to be members. I never said that they shouldn’t be autonomous or make decisions or policies for themselves.

Again, I’m not talking about forgiveness. My main concern is protecting the women and children, that’s it. No plan is 100% and I’m not willing to allow these people to find holes in the plan and hurt someone.

Our priorities are different. Yes you have a plan in place. But you have already agreed that no plan is 100%. Therefore, by you allowing these people to be members they are put in front of the safety of the flock. Our priorities are different.

 

[ALAYMAN]

Would all adult members be there? Woman as well? When making a decision whether or not to allow the sexual abuser to be a member?

No, they’d be in the church baking cookies for the men. Haven’t you heard the scripture “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.”?






Of course they would be part of the determination.

 

[ALAYMAN]

….

Our priorities are different. Yes you have a plan in place. But you have already agreed that no plan is 100%. Therefore, by you allowing these people to be members they are put in front of the safety of the flock. Our priorities are different.

From another balanced article on the subject…

“Ultimately, a church must prioritize the protection of its most vulnerable members, ensuring that their decisions are both theologically sound and legally defensible.”

Within the article is an acknowledgment that the potential for re-offense is a serious consideration in the process, but if resources are appropriately allocated that risk can be essentially eliminated.

Some considerations and measures include…

Exclusion From Ministry and Youth Areas: The offender is barred from holding any trust position (volunteer or staff), entering designated children’s or youth areas, or being near minors at any time. This includes avoiding lingering in hallways, attending children’s programs, or transporting minors.

Physical Limitations: Specific seating requirements are common, such as sitting on the aisle or in a designated area away from the children’s section.

Mandatory Chaperoning: The offender must be under the direct, constant supervision of an approved chaperone or accountability partner whenever on church property.

Chaperoning Contract

The chaperoning contract is an important part of the main agreement, outlining the logistics of ongoing supervision. The chaperone is an adult, trained member of the congregation or leadership team, not a family member of the offender. Chaperone responsibilities include:

Meet and Escort: The chaperone meets the offender at the church entrance and escorts them to their vehicle.

Continuous Supervision: The offender must remain within the chaperone’s direct line of sight at all times during attendance, including during services, classes, and restroom breaks.