Bullying.

[Breezy]

... At the end, some parents and kids go to the authorities and their is a lesson to learn.  Oh, and they do show the concept of bringing a weapon on the bus can end in many years in prison.

I don't have a problem with "equalizers".  I teach ALAYboy to avoid those who attempt to antagonize and bully, but if the punk(s) won't just let him walk then he is to make his best effort at talking his way out of the confrontation.  If that won't work and they are bound to have a physical altercation then use whatever is at his disposal to neutralize the aggressor.

There was a kid when I played Pee-Wee football (elementary school age) that was teased/bullied pretty bad.  He was stinky, ran his mouth, chubby, and a host of other things that often <wrongly> invite such bullying.  I never bullied anybody, except maybe one of my friends, and that's okay, right?   Fast-forward 15 years.  I was in the Student Union (rec room) at college playing pool when this kid, now full grown strolls in.  He's 6'4" and obviously been workin' out a good bit.  We get to playin' some pool.  One thing leads to another and I begin to see some similar signs (his lack of social skills, smart-alecky, etc) of why he was picked on.  At one point he made a good shot and blurted out that back-in-the-day famous taunt "yo mama"!  He did it again shortly thereafter.  I hated that phrase then, and now.  I think it is terribly disrespectful.  After the second time he said it I told him respectfully that I didn't like that phrase and would appreciate if he wouldn't say it.  He shot back "waddaya gonna do, kick my a**"?  I stared at him, not wanting to fight (I'm a lover not a fighter ), and said essentially "you see this pool stick in my hand?  I'll wrap it around your head, because you're a lot bigger than me and I don't want to fight, I just want to play some pool without my mother being brought into the conversation".  Luckily, he backed down.  Glad he didn't realize he had a pool cue too.   We finished the game, but that was our last game.  I never saw him on campus after that, and was glad.  That story isn't to say that people deserve to be bullied, but rather that I teach my son to avoid the confrontation at all costs, but to stand up for himself if he must.  And of course as a reminder, many of the kids bullied don't have somebody in their corner, as the poster exell said earlier in the thread.  Unfortunately, sometimes there's no father, or a reluctant effeminate one, and the people in the schools react slowly or not at all.

Your story illustrates something interesting to me. You didn't like this person as a child, and you still didn't like him when you became an adult.

When I was school aged, I remember being told that I was supposed to "be friends with everybody". Kids are just like adults, some personalities will click, and some will not, with a few genuine jerks. I think it's important to teach your kids how to treat a person they don't like. Acknowledge that every person isn't going to enjoy the company of every other person, but then explain appropriate ways of dealing with it. You don't get to aggressively try to make that person miserable, but you don't have to be best friends, and attend their birthday party either.

Many schools have a zero tolerance policy for violence, and kids aren't allowed to hit back. I think you should also let your child know you have their back, and if they are bullied, make sure the administration deals with it. If they are physically touched by their aggressor, or threatened, you can also call the police and have it documented. Kids that commit suicide feel powerless against their bully. What they need is someone who will help them, stand up for them, give them support and put a stop to it.

 

[Bruh]

christundivided is a bully.

 

[christundivided]

christundivided is a bully.

Sure.... you're next...  8)

 

[ALAYMAN]

Your story illustrates something interesting to me. You didn't like this person as a child, and you still didn't like him when you became an adult.

Re-read my post.  I never said I didn't like him when we were kids.  I said he was the typical kid who gets picked on.  We didn't run in the same circles, and that's all there was to that.  Having said that, the rest of your post about personality matches is pretty much on the mark, and not every person is cut out to be everybody's buddy.  I do teach ALAYboy to take up for the weaker among him, and try to be nice or even befriend those who are friendless, but that's not always possible.  Sometimes that is because those who are friendless choose to be so.  Your observations are still applicable about how to avoid being a victim though.  Report things as often as they happen.  The difficulty sometimes arises when nobody becomes an advocate for those who don't know how to help themselves.

 

[FundamentalDan]

I was bullied quite a bit and got in a lot of fights. A contributing cause was probably the fact that I was sarcastic and said what was on my mind.  I also did contemplate suicide and even attempted it once, but could not go through with it. Two things that kept me from having a worse problem were when I got saved at 15 and when I got mad enough to shove a kid through a wall in eighth grade.  The salvation helped my bitterness and hatred, and the shoving helped me show others that I could defend myself.  The boy who picked on me got fined $75 by our Christian school,  as did I. It was probably the best $75 I ever spent. He stopped picking on me and became one of my friends.  Now, I teach our girls and the young people at church what the Bible says about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.  I have a soft spot for the kids from rough home life's, as I know a little bit of what they feel. 

 

[Breezy]

Your story illustrates something interesting to me. You didn't like this person as a child, and you still didn't like him when you became an adult.

Re-read my post.  I never said I didn't like him when we were kids.  I said he was the typical kid who gets picked on.  We didn't run in the same circles, and that's all there was to that.  Having said that, the rest of your post about personality matches is pretty much on the mark, and not every person is cut out to be everybody's buddy.  I do teach ALAYboy to take up for the weaker among him, and try to be nice or even befriend those who are friendless, but that's not always possible.  Sometimes that is because those who are friendless choose to be so.  Your observations are still applicable about how to avoid being a victim though.  Report things as often as they happen.  The difficulty sometimes arises when nobody becomes an advocate for those who don't know how to help themselves.

I misunderstood what you were saying about his social skills leaving something to be desired. I do think it's fair to conclude that you were at least not drawn to becoming his friend. I absolutely think it's wise to teach your kids to befriend the friendless and stand up for those who are weaker. That's teaching them how to be a decent human being. It's good to balance it out though, with acknowledging that their personalities may genuinely not click  with everyone, and equipping them with the social tools to deal with that like a decent human being as well.