Christian author confesses years-long extramarital affair, declaring he 'disqualified' himself from ministry

Ransom said:
God hates divorce. Ekklesian, not being God, can't wait for it.
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What God has joined together let not man put asunder. An offended party in a marriage cannot dissolve or maintain a union. Only God can. The freedom to leave, rather, the unction to leave, as Joseph in righteousness was moved to put away Mary, is only a righteous "option" if one is loosed.

And the woman in this case is loosed. The part in her statement about being profoundly devasted and betrayed comes from the heart. The part about being faithful to her vow, though right now there can be no doubt she is meaning well, and no doubt some self-righteous, heady lout is telling her God would rather she stay with the man regardless because God hates divorce, does not come from the heart. It doesn't come from love. It comes from some sense of her Christian duty.

It's like when a Calvinist says he evangelizes because he's commanded to do so, instead of saying he evangelizes because he loves God, and he loves the Gospel, and he loves his fellow man. Well meaning, perhaps, but hollow and dry.

This kind of thing is not good for her or him. When she looks at him, she sees the cheater. The one who betrayed her. The one who devasted her. By her own admission, she does not yet forgive him. Though she may not intend to, in unforgiveness it is inevitable that she will begin leverage the guilt.
 
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Ekklesian said:
What God has joined together let not man put asunder. An offended party in a marriage cannot dissolve or maintain a union. Only God can. The freedom to leave, rather, the unction to leave, as Joseph in righteousness was moved to put away Mary, is only a righteous "option" if one is loosed.

And the woman in this case is loosed. The part in her statement about being profoundly devasted and betrayed comes from the heart. The part about being faithful to her vow, though right now there can be no doubt she is meaning well, and no doubt some self-righteous, heady lout is telling her God would rather she stay with the man regardless because God hates divorce, does not come from the heart. It doesn't come from love. It comes from some sense of her Christian duty.

It's like when a Calvinist says he evangelizes because he's commanded to do so, instead of saying he evangelizes because he loves God, and he loves the Gospel, and he loves his fellow man. Well meaning, perhaps, but hollow and dry.

This kind of thing is not good for her or him. When she looks at him, she sees the cheater. The one who betrayed her. The one who devasted her. By her own admission, she does not yet forgive him. Though she may not intend to, in unforgiveness it is inevitable that she will begin leverage the guilt.
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Christianity aside, you have to understand this woman and her husband are well into their 70s and been married for over a half century. They have four children and several grandchildren together. They are near the end of life. Had this happened to her when she was younger, the outcome might have been different, but I’m sure at this point she’s not willing to go through hiring a divorce attorney, having awkward holidays, possibly moving churches, etc.
 
DrHuk&Duck said:
Christianity aside, you have to understand this woman and her husband are well into their 70s and been married for over a half century. They have four children and several grandchildren together. They are near the end of life. Had this happened to her when she was younger, the outcome might have been different, but I’m sure at this point she’s not willing to go through hiring a divorce attorney, having awkward holidays, possibly moving churches, etc.
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There can be no doubt the family dynamic has fundamentally changed. It's a tragic thing, but their ages won't mitigate the consequences of his sin.

I didn't say anything about going before a judge right away if at all. I said they needed to separate.
 
abcaines said:
Are you the Holy Spirit? Do you intimately know their family dynamics? How do you know what they need?
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You can't see the pain in her stilted wording? She's crying out. This is a woman who has been deeply wounded. I can safely say her grief is more profound than it would have been if Philip had died. She needs healing, and being around the source of her pain will only have the effect of keeping the wounds open longer. I can speak to that from experience.

Now it may be that she's a super spiritual super Christian, and that when you cut her the Shekinah Glory shines through and she bleeds love and forgiveness, but I'm presuming she's a normal human being.

You keep talking about the Holy Spirit...

We have the words of the Spirit and the mind of Christ revealed to us in the Scriptures. You might try reading them sometime.
 
Ekklesian said:
So essentially the bond is dissolved.
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Since neither of them is dead and divorce proceedings have not been completed (not even started as far we know) then no, they are still married.
 
subllibrm said:
Since neither of them is dead and divorce proceedings have not been completed (not even started as far we know) then no, they are still married.
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Why did you say the door was open for one to walk out until death or divorce?
 
subllibrm said:
So they are married until they are not. You are incorrect in stating that the marriage is dissolved, present tense.
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What you mean is they're married as long as the offended party, who is free to leave, says they are. I disagree.

But I was asking how long the door stays open for one to righteously depart.
 
Ekklesian said:
What you mean is they're married as long as the offended party, who is free to leave, says they are. I disagree.
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Yes, that is what I meant.

Okay.

Ekklesian said:
But I was asking how long the door stays open for one to righteously depart.
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I have no idea. Nor do I care. Each situation is unique with the decision to reconcile resting with the injured spouse.

My comments have been directed at your contention that the marriage is dissolved. I disagree.
 
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