Dad Jokes

[subllibrm]

I used to tell dad jokes. Sometimes he would even laugh.

 

[voicecrying]

My wife asked why I never buy her flowers. I didn't even know she sold flowers!

 

[abcaines]

My wife asked if I had seen the dog bowl. I said I didn't know he could.

 

[BrianH]

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up straight?

It was two-tired.

 

[aleshanee]

what is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?........

.

a hippo is very heavy...... but a zippo is a little lighter.......

 

[illinoisguy]

What do you call a herd of rowdy wildebeest that just escaped from the city zoo?

Bad gnus.

 

[Plowman]

My granddaughter actually laughed at this one--What does a duck eat with his soup? Quackers.

 

[BrianH]

For Christmas, my wife said she wanted something that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 10 seconds.

So I bought her a bathroom scale.

 

[subllibrm]

My granddaughter actually laughed at this one--What does a duck eat with his soup? Quackers.

When I was a kid and I asked what I was getting for my birthday or Christmas, my mom always said that she was getting me a quack for a duck. Part of the family lingo and no I still don't know what it meant or where it came from.

 

[Ekklesian]

At the RR crossing:

Dad: A train has just been by.

Kids: How do you know?

Dad: It left its tracks.

 

[aleshanee]

 

[subllibrm]

A priest, a blond and a horse walk into a bar. The bartender says, what is this, some kind of a joke?