Divorce: The Sin Preachers Nod & Wink At

If me and my wife ever get a divorce I’m just not gonna get married again. It’s that simple.

Why is it so hard to say, biblically I shouldn’t have married my second wife. I was wrong and she was too. I didn’t want to be alone the rest of my life and it was wrong for me to marry her.

Is it that hard for people to admit when they are in the wrong?
 
To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband)—and that the husband should not divorce his wife” (1 Cor. 7:10-11).

There’s really no need to twist and manipulate verses, dig back to the Old Testament days of Moses and bring up the issue of multiple wives and property rights, etc. We have verses in the NEW TESTAMENT and actual quotes by JESUS on the matter.

Again, y’all can get upset with me and get emotional about the topic, but the Bible is very clear. Divorce is sinful, but in the event a divorce occurs, remarriage is forbidden (possibly with the “exception clause” mentioned earlier). Anything else is adultery. Marriages sometimes fail. Follow the example of Dr. Charles Stanley and stay unmarried. Anything else is living in sin. Don’t like that? Get mad at God.
 
ALAYMAN said:
I have very thick skin and rarely have I ever been offended on the fighting forum and that was years ago.

Would you care to point out where you disagree with Phil, using his own language or citations from the article?
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I’m more interested in the words of Jesus, not Phil.

Can you authoritatively show me a verse that says that the “adultery” has an expiration date? If not, let’s not begin questioning the wisdom of God.
 
DoctorDuck said:
You are allowed to defend yourself, biblically and legally speaking. And I know where you’re going with this now and the solution is, you may divorce but not get remarried. That’s the key: no remarriage is permissible unless it meets the “exclusion clause.”
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Be careful here. You're not being as insightful as you may think. When Christ says, 'Them of old time,' in the passages from which you are deriving your draconian rules for marriage... Is He speaking of Moses and the Prophets? Or is He speaking of the rabbis and rabbinical tradition?
 
DoctorDuck said:
To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband)—and that the husband should not divorce his wife” (1 Cor. 7:10-11).

There’s really no need to twist and manipulate verses, dig back to the Old Testament days of Moses and bring up the issue of multiple wives and property rights, etc. We have verses in the NEW TESTAMENT and actual quotes by JESUS on the matter.

Again, y’all can get upset with me and get emotional about the topic, but the Bible is very clear. Divorce is sinful, but in the event a divorce occurs, remarriage is forbidden (possibly with the “exception clause” mentioned earlier). Anything else is adultery. Marriages sometimes fail. Follow the example of Dr. Charles Stanley and stay unmarried. Anything else is living in sin. Don’t like that? Get mad at God.
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In 2 Peter 3:16 Peter warns about unlearned men who twist the scriptures to their own destruction and that includes taking scripture out of context. In 1 Corinthians chapter 7 Paul goes on and expounds on things Jesus never addressed in the flesh.

In Verse 12, Paul boldly supercedes a command given by God through Ezra to the Jews (Ezra 10:11). The Christian is commanded not to divorce a non-Christian spouse, as long as the latter is willing to remain in the marriage. To the rest. Those things not covered by the instruction of v. 10-11 are what Paul is addressing. Paul received his apostleship not from men (as Matthias did) but directly from Jesus Christ (Gal 1:1). He was saved too late to be an “eyewitness” of the resurrection so Christ revealed himself to Paul on the road to Damascus (Acts 9:3-5), so he is speaking here as an apostle with authority.

In verses 13-15 Paul talks about a believing woman who is abandoned by an unbelieving husband, and states clearly that such a woman is not under bondage or enslaved in that situation. Physical abuse would also be covered when he says, “if he be pleased to dwell with her.” Any man who abuses his wife obviously isn’t pleased to dwell with her.

Verse 8. Unmarried...widows. “Unmarried” is a term used four times in the NT, and only in 1 Corinthians (cf. v. 11, 32, 34). This verse makes it clear that the unmarried and widows are distinct. Verse 11 identifies the divorced as the “unmarried” to be distinguished from “widows (v. 39-40; single by death) and “virgins” (v. 25, 28; never married). Each use of “unmarried,” then, refers to those formerly married, presently single, but not widowed. They are the divorced. It is likely these people who were formerly married wanted to know if they, as Christians, could or should remarry. Even as I. Paul was possibly a widower, and could here affirm his former marriage by identifying with the unmarried and widows. His first suggestion is that they stay single because of its freedoms in serving the Lord ( v. 25-27, 32-34). Cf. Anna in Luke 2:36-37.
 
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Ekklesian said:
Be careful here. You're not being as insightful as you may think. When Christ says, 'Them of old time,' in the passages from which you are deriving your draconian rules for marriage... Is He speaking of Moses and the Prophets? Or is He speaking of the rabbis and rabbinical tradition?
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ah...I'll just cut to it...

Scripture testifies that it is better to separate than to stay united to an odious spouse. To say a woman is bound to a churlish man, or that a man is bound to an odious woman merely because neither moved out or slept with someone else is to lay a burden upon them worse than any legalism conceived of any Pharisee. At least the Pharisee is constrained by the concession God gave through Moses.

Just as Jesus' 'resist not evil' doesn't mean in all circumstances, (One cannot be loving his neighbor if he stands idly by while his neighbor is vicitmized.) Neither is He giving these conditions concerning divorce to mean in all marriages.

By 'Them of old time,' He means the rabbis of old. We know this because He said, Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy...Yes, they heard it said, but no one has ever read it in the Law.

The rabbis, whose traditions made the law of none effect, turned Moses's 'bill of divorcement' into licentiousness.

But what did Jesus say to the woman at the well? "Thou hast had five husbands." Not one husband and four boyfriends. And He didn't say "husband" lightly. He didn't call the man she had at the time her husband.
 
Ekklesian said:
ah...I'll just cut to it...

Scripture testifies that it is better to separate than to stay united to an odious spouse. To say a woman is bound to a churlish man, or that a man is bound to an odious woman merely because neither moved out or slept with someone else is to lay a burden upon them worse than any legalism conceived of any Pharisee. At least the Pharisee is constrained by the concession God gave through Moses.

Just as Jesus' 'resist not evil' doesn't mean in all circumstances, (One cannot be loving his neighbor if he stands idly by while his neighbor is vicitmized.) Neither is He giving these conditions concerning divorce to mean in all marriages.

By 'Them of old time,' He means the rabbis of old. We know this because He said, Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy...Yes, they heard it said, but no one has ever read it in the Law.

The rabbis, whose traditions made the law of none effect, turned Moses's 'bill of divorcement' into licentiousness.

But what did Jesus say to the woman at the well? "Thou hast had five husbands." Not one husband and four boyfriends. And He didn't say "husband" lightly. He didn't call the man she had at the time her husband.
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Aren’t we going in circles? So, in a nutshell, divorce might be deemed acceptable in some instances, but is the remarriage deemed acceptable? That’s the whole point….
 
DoctorDuck said:
I’m more interested in the words of Jesus, not Phil.
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That sounds pious, but Phil’s cited authority and exegesis was the Bible too, unless you are once again seemingly pitting Paul’s inscripturated word against the red letters?
DoctorDuck said:
Can you authoritatively show me a verse that says that the “adultery” has an expiration date? If not, let’s not begin questioning the wisdom of God.
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By your legalistic logic those who are remarried should be subject to church discipline and excluded from communion unless they divorce. I am not able to see the Biblical course of reasoning that leads to that conclusion, but if you actually believe that’s what Jesus was commanding, well, ok, go with that.
 
DoctorDuck said:
To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband)—and that the husband should not divorce his wife” (1 Cor. 7:10-11).

There’s really no need to twist and manipulate verses, dig back to the Old Testament days of Moses and bring up the issue of multiple wives and property rights, etc. We have verses in the NEW TESTAMENT and actual quotes by JESUS on the matter.
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And did you keep reading 1 Cor. 7?

To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (12-14)​

So far, so good. People who are married ought to stay married, as a general principle. It's not 100% clear what Paul means in verse 14, but I think we can assume he's answering some question that was raised about what happens to the spouse and children in a mixed marriage. Having an unbeliever in the family doesn't defile the whole family On the contrary, as he says in verse 16, a believing wife might be the instrument of her husband's salvation. So stayng together is better. We can all agree to that.

But then...

But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. (15)​

Paul is always telling Christians to be peaceful: obey the government, don't raise strife with the neighbours, and so forth.This is another example of that. If the pagan husband can't stand being married to a Christian and leaves, don't put up a fight. Pursue peacefulness, and let him go. The Christian wife is no longer "enslaved" (i.e. bound to the marriage.)

I have a friend to whom this happened. She is a convert from Sikhism, and when she became a Christian, her husband deserted her. She wavered for some time one what to do when he said he wanted a divorce, until our then-senior pastor (who is very conservative on divorce) advised her just to sign the papers and let him go. A textbook 1 Cor. 7:15 example.

In other words, there are times when divorce is permissible, possibly even necessary. And once those divorces occur, the marriage no longer exists. Someone who is no longer bound to a spouse is, by definition, free to marry. Otherwise, that would seem like being bound, wouldn't it? If a particular divorce is lawful, so is the subsequent remarriage.

Perhaps it's better for a divorcee not to remarry afterward. And that is, in fact, more or less where I stand. But I can't say that remarriage would be sinful in every instance, either.
 
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DoctorDuck said:
Aren’t we going in circles? So, in a nutshell, divorce might be deemed acceptable in some instances, but is the remarriage deemed acceptable? That’s the whole point….
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If you can't remarry, are you really divorced?
 
Tarheel Baptist said:
So your view is that there is NO biblical justification for divorce?
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Not if the marriage involves two Christians and the marriage has been consummated. Only death can break the bond of marriage. If divorce does occur, the two Christians are obligated to never remarry an outside person, but of course they’re free to remarry one another (as they should to restore the bond). Marriage is more than just a legal contract, it’s a covenant before God.
 
Ransom said:
And did you keep reading 1 Cor. 7?

To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (12-14)​

So far, so good. People who are married ought to stay married, as a general principle. It's not 100% clear what Paul means in verse 14, but I think we can assume he's answering some question that was raised about what happens to the spouse and children in a mixed marriage. Having an unbeliever in the family doesn't defile the whole family On the contrary, as he says in verse 16, a believing wife might be the instrument of her husband's salvation. So stayng together is better. We can all agree to that.

But then...

But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. (15)​

Paul is always telling Christians to be peaceful: obey the government, don't raise strife with the neighbours, and so forth.This is another example of that. If the pagan husband can't stand being married to a Christian and leaves, don't put up a fight. Pursue peacefulness, and let him go. The Christian wife is no longer "enslaved" (i.e. bound to the marriage.)

I have a friend to whom this happened. She is a convert from Sikhism, and when she became a Christian, her husband deserted her. She wavered for some time one what to do when he said he wanted a divorce, until our then-senior pastor (who is very conservative on divorce) advised her just to sign the papers and let him go. A textbook 1 Cor. 7:15 example.

In other words, there are times when divorce is permissible, possibly even necessary. And once those divorces occur, the marriage no longer exists. Someone who is no longer bound to a spouse is, by definition, free to marry. Otherwise, that would seem like being bound, wouldn't it? If a particular divorce is lawful, so is the subsequent remarriage.

Perhaps it's better for a divorcee not to remarry afterward. And that is, in fact, more or less where I stand. But I can't say that remarriage would be sinful in every instance, either.
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In your example of the mixed marriage, I believe you are correct biblically speaking, because the husband is not a Christian. The Apostle Paul addressed this. Your friend’s husband made an effort to leave the marriage. Had he wanted to remain in the marriage but not convert to Christianity, then I believe she would not be justified in divorce proceedings.
 
Tarheel Baptist said:
As opposed to marrying someone who hasn’t been divorced???
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I believe we all come with some baggage. However, a divorced person more than doubles it, I’m sure. That’s just logic. You disagree?
 
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