Former fundys, some of who post here.....ouchie.

[subllibrm]

To me, that's just life, nothing worthy of lamenting too long or losing sleep over.

I no longer lose sleep but at the time .... 

I so am thankful that I had solid mentoring before this gentleman arrived. I found myself challenging him often. I should note that what I found myself contending with was his "training" from seminary (or at least his understanding or what was being taught). In many instances I realized that he was just following the script; so to speak. To his credit, he has grown much over the years and we are dear friends. Our relationship would be a clear evidence that Matthew 18 works. Even if I did have to exercise it on him for him to "get it".    He is retired now and I think it has been good for him to get away from "it" for a while.

 

[Bruh]

Any IFB church I have been a part of, any problem that came up within the church, the pastor has ALWAYS came across as, it's the people's fault because they don't want to submit and follow.

Then you've been part of churches that had poor leadership, and hopefully you were wise enough to not stay there long.  It's my opinion, if I were looking for a church, that a person who does their due diligence should be able to avoid such leadership pitfalls.  That could be accomplished several ways.  Like knowing a trustworthy mature member of the church and asking their opinion of how such matters are handled from the pulpit as well as in counsel.  Or taking time to listen to the style of messages preached (ie, are they full of grace and wisdom vs authoritarian hobby-horse messages).  And lastly, sitting down with the pastor after a time of attendance and evaluation at the church in order to talk with him and determine his stance/position on leadership styles.

IFB churches are in short supply in this part of the country. That being said, we stayed almost 10 years before venturing out and visiting non-IFB churches.

 

[ALAYMAN]

... That being said, we stayed almost 10 years before venturing out and visiting non-IFB churches.

What has been your experience in those churches?  Any similarities, differences?

 

[Bruh]

... That being said, we stayed almost 10 years before venturing out and visiting non-IFB churches.

What has been your experience in those churches?  Any similarities, differences?

Honestly it seems as though the SBC churches are more interested about the inside of a person rather than the IFB churches would rather you conform on the outside and have a PERCEIVED holiness.

I'm not trying to be mean, rude, ugly when I say that but it true at least the ones we've been a part of
Especially this last one. It's literally all about perception.

We were not allowed to teach children because we went to the movies and my wife wore pants. She didn't wear pants to any church function, we knew better than to do that.

I spoke with the pastor twice in 10 years about this, there weren't any cross words in either conversation.
He said why don't y'all just sign the paper and yield? I said because it wouldn't be from the heart and it would be mere conforming and hypocritical.

His answer, so just because the Lord hasn't spoke to y'all about this y'all won't do it? I smiled and said, isn't this what it is all about?

It's all about perception.

 

[sword]

Any IFB church I have been a part of, any problem that came up within the church, the pastor has ALWAYS came across as, it's the people's fault because they don't want to submit and follow.

Then you've been part of churches that had poor leadership, and hopefully you were wise enough to not stay there long.  It's my opinion, if I were looking for a church, that a person who does their due diligence should be able to avoid such leadership pitfalls.  That could be accomplished several ways.  Like knowing a trustworthy mature member of the church and asking their opinion of how such matters are handled from the pulpit as well as in counsel.  Or taking time to listen to the style of messages preached (ie, are they full of grace and wisdom vs authoritarian hobby-horse messages).  And lastly, sitting down with the pastor after a time of attendance and evaluation at the church in order to talk with him and determine his stance/position on leadership styles.

IFB churches are in short supply in this part of the country. That being said, we stayed almost 10 years before venturing out and visiting non-IFB churches.

From what I can tell they are becoming in short supply everywhere. IFB churches are either dropping many of their standards or are just going away & new ones are not starting up. Not sure where all the preacher boys from the IFB colleges are locating to start churches.

 

[brianb]

Any IFB church I have been a part of, any problem that came up within the church, the pastor has ALWAYS came across as, it's the people's fault because they don't want to submit and follow.

They are starting churches in other countries where IFB is relatively new.
Then you've been part of churches that had poor leadership, and hopefully you were wise enough to not stay there long.  It's my opinion, if I were looking for a church, that a person who does their due diligence should be able to avoid such leadership pitfalls.  That could be accomplished several ways.  Like knowing a trustworthy mature member of the church and asking their opinion of how such matters are handled from the pulpit as well as in counsel.  Or taking time to listen to the style of messages preached (ie, are they full of grace and wisdom vs authoritarian hobby-horse messages).  And lastly, sitting down with the pastor after a time of attendance and evaluation at the church in order to talk with him and determine his stance/position on leadership styles.

IFB churches are in short supply in this part of the country. That being said, we stayed almost 10 years before venturing out and visiting non-IFB churches.

From what I can tell they are becoming in short supply everywhere. IFB churches are either dropping many of their standards or are just going away & new ones are not starting up. Not sure where all the preacher boys from the IFB colleges are locating to start churches.