Grudges?

[FundNoMore]

So what do you do with a pastor, who has told his congregation to not judge him based on their bad experiences with previous pastors, but continually repeats how he and his family were abused by a previous church in a "poor me" tone. My thought is that if the congregation is to not judge the pastor based on their experience, then the pastor should not judge the congregation based on his experience.

 

[AverageJoe]

If this pastor is doing this, then he shouldn't be in the pulpit! This isn't the attitude one should have in leading a congregation. If HE can't forget what happened in other congregations, then he can't forget or forgive anything. I'd be finding another church, or requesting the church consider giving him his walking papers.

 

[abcaines]

So what do you do with a pastor, who has told his congregation to not judge him based on their bad experiences with previous pastors, but continually repeats how he and his family were abused by a previous church in a "poor me" tone. My thought is that if the congregation is to not judge the pastor based on their experience, then the pastor should not judge the congregation based on his experience.

How is this pastor judging the congregation? The way you describe it, it sounds like he's just whining about past treatment.

Congregations can be just as bad on pastors as vice versa. If your pastor was hurt by a previous congregation but is still in the ministry, he is to be congratulated for staying in. I've seen several pastors get screwed over by congregations or board members just burn out and leave ministry altogether. Could it be your pastor is still reeling from past hurts? That's very easy to do. He may not even realize he's coming across the way you are saying he is.

Try this: Pray for your pastor. Become his friend and greatest ally. Too many pastors are expected to be at the top of the congregation and pass ministry down. Pastors are human too. A pastor should be able to receive ministry back from the congregation he ministers to. This would be my approach.

 

[aleshanee]

So what do you do with a pastor, who has told his congregation to not judge him based on their bad experiences with previous pastors, but continually repeats how he and his family were abused by a previous church in a "poor me" tone. My thought is that if the congregation is to not judge the pastor based on their experience, then the pastor should not judge the congregation based on his experience.

.
i don;t have a drivers license... .. and am medically prohibited from driving a car..... . but if i could drive one i would put both that pastor and the church in the rear view mirror and drive away.... keeping a close watch to make sure he didn;t follow me...... ....anyone with such an apparent need as he has to pollute his call to pastor... and duty to christian service.. with personal gripes and complaints, is not someone worth listening to or sitting under in a congregation.... ...and a board of deacons that doesn;t recognize that within the first few sundays he is in the pulpit ...and take action to remove him... might not ever remove him... . but rather might actually leave him to continue focusing on service to himself... rather than servce to God... until his self service does more damage than can be easily repaired..

as far as trying to help this pastor?..... yes.... he definitely needs help...he needs guidance through prayer and scripture..... and he needs to work out his personal problems in a way that puts them to rest and leaves him free to better prepare himself to serve God and the church..... but he can;t work all that out while also occupying the pulpit and that position of authority.. putting his personal problems on the congregation in the process.... .. ...... remove him and get him the help he needs and then allow him to return to the pulpit later if the church still wants him there... and God leads them in that direction.... .

a person with vast experience in farm and ranch matters once told me when a lame horse is pulling your carriage.. you are better off walking... and letting him rest... ..i can;t remember the rest of the saying that went along with that but it had to do with taking caution so both you and your horse didn;t end up in the ditch with carriage overturned.... and both of you trapped under it..... .but what do i know?..... i don;t drive cars or carriages either one.... .. busses.. bicycles... ankle express and begging for rides is how i get around..... ..

 

[FundNoMore]

How is this pastor judging the congregation? The way you describe it, it sounds like he's just whining about past treatment.

Congregations can be just as bad on pastors as vice versa. If your pastor was hurt by a previous congregation but is still in the ministry, he is to be congratulated for staying in. I've seen several pastors get screwed over by congregations or board members just burn out and leave ministry altogether. Could it be your pastor is still reeling from past hurts? That's very easy to do. He may not even realize he's coming across the way you are saying he is.

Try this: Pray for your pastor. Become his friend and greatest ally. Too many pastors are expected to be at the top of the congregation and pass ministry down. Pastors are human too. A pastor should be able to receive ministry back from the congregation he ministers to. This would be my approach.

And that is always the answer from IFB pastors. The congregation is wrong because they will not support the mannagawd. So tired of the hypocrisy. I too know those who have been thoroughly mistreated by congregations and by other so-called ministers. Years ago, a friend was recruited by a group of pastors for a 2-year evangelistic journey. They convinced him to resign from a stable position in a solid church to travel the country. He sold his house, bought a trailer and he, his wife and 2 small children set out. At the end of the first year, he was told by this pastoral group, that "they" felt that the journey had accomplished all that there was and would not be supporting his second year. They just left this man and his family without support, income or any prospects, but I am sure each of them was highly respected in their churches. He survived, but no thanks to any of them.
"For there are many unruly and vain talkers and deceivers, specially they of the circumcision: Whose mouths must be stopped, who subvert whole houses, teaching things which they ought not for filthy lucre's sake" Titus 1:10-11

 

[ALAYMAN]

So what do you do with a pastor, who has told his congregation to not judge him based on their bad experiences with previous pastors, but continually repeats how he and his family were abused by a previous church in a "poor me" tone. My thought is that if the congregation is to not judge the pastor based on their experience, then the pastor should not judge the congregation based on his experience.

A pastor who "continually repeats" anything, other than the love, grace, and work of Christ through the faithful exposition of the word probably isn't fulfilling His alleged calling sufficiently and efficiently, regardless of the particular thing he harps on.

 

[TidesofTruth]

Best advice I ever got was from the Muppet Movie "Peoples is peoples"

IF he hasn't figured that out then he is not long for the pastorate.