I Am Torn

[Twisted]

I am in a dilemma.  Let me explain.

When I was much younger I had a girlfriend.  When I joined the service, she sent me a "Dear John" letter.  Probably for the best at that time in my life.

However, I have always cared for her.  Now let me do some confessing.  I have found that those few girls I dated early in life (HS and college [not HAC]) I have always been concerned for.  It's not a romantic thing, but when you share a kiss with a girl, you share something very important.  This is one of the reasons (IMO, the main reason), why you should not date, but court, and only the one you want to marry.  Of course I didn't know this then and had no one to tell me otherwise.

So over the years I've wondered about this girl.  How she was doing, etc.  Years ago I called and spoke to her mother and she told me she had married.  Fine.  Good. (Her parents are now dead)

But about 10 years ago I started to think of her again.  You see, now I'm a Christian.  She needs to be a Christian too.

But searching for her by her married name produced little results.  The trail went cold.  I figured she was either dead or had remarried.  Well, she's not dead!  A few days ago I did a search again and used some creative search methods and got a clue!  One clue led to another and now I've found her!  She divorced twice and is married again.  I now have her info.

But now I'm torn.  Do I contact her and tell her how I've searched for her and give her my testimony, or should I contact her as an anonymous person and just share the gospel with her?

I have zero desire to enter her life.  But I feel I have a duty.

Any suggestions?

 

[Fresh Air]

I am in a dilemma.  Let me explain.

When I was much younger I had a girlfriend.  When I joined the service, she sent me a "Dear John" letter.  Probably for the best at that time in my life.

However, I have always cared for her.  Now let me do some confessing.  I have found that those few girls I dated early in life (HS and college [not HAC]) I have always been concerned for.  It's not a romantic thing, but when you share a kiss with a girl, you share something very important.  This is one of the reasons (IMO, the main reason), why you should not date, but court, and only the one you want to marry.  Of course I didn't know this then and had no one to tell me otherwise.

So over the years I've wondered about this girl.  How she was doing, etc.  Years ago I called and spoke to her mother and she told me she had married.  Fine.  Good. (Her parents are now dead)

But about 10 years ago I started to think of her again.  You see, now I'm a Christian.  She needs to be a Christian too.

But searching for her by her married name produced little results.  The trail went cold.  I figured she was either dead or had remarried.  Well, she's not dead!  A few days ago I did a search again and used some creative search methods and got a clue!  One clue led to another and now I've found her!  She divorced twice and is married again.  I now have her info.

But now I'm torn.  Do I contact her and tell her how I've searched for her and give her my testimony, or should I contact her as an anonymous person and just share the gospel with her?

I have zero desire to enter her life.  But I feel I have a duty.

Any suggestions?

Are you married? If not, yes, contact her appropriately and witness to her. If you are married do not do so unless your wife agrees its a good idea.

 

[Binaca Chugger]

Could be construed as a little creepy: "Hi.  We dated decades ago and I never forgot that kiss.  I have stalked you through the internet.  I am a Christian and want you to be also!"

Maybe it would be fine.  I don't know your relationship with her.  Some might see it as creepy to be stalked.  Maybe find a good church in the area and ask them to make a visit?

 

[Twisted]

Are you married? If not, yes, contact her appropriately and witness to her. If you are married do not do so unless your wife agrees its a good idea.

A sane, reasonable and expected response.  Thanks.

But it raises the question about all those Christian men who have female "friends" on Facebook that their wives don't know.  Or about the women on forums like this one that use "forum names".  Do their wives agree with all of them or even know about them?

Sorry to raise another topic but, well, it was sorta planned that way.

 

[Twisted]

Could be construed as a little creepy: "Hi.  We dated decades ago and I never forgot that kiss.  I have stalked you through the internet.  I am a Christian and want you to be also!"

Maybe it would be fine.  I don't know your relationship with her.  Some might see it as creepy to be stalked.  Maybe find a good church in the area and ask them to make a visit?

Interesting.  How could it be "stalking" to use the internet to find an old friend?  To me, stalking is when you hang around outside their house and watch with binoculars or follow them when they leave.

Now I do like the idea of finding a church to make a visit.  That's good thinking.

 

[FSSL]

But it raises the question about all those Christian men who have female "friends" on Facebook that their wives don't know.  Or about the women on forums like this one that use "forum names".  Do their wives agree with all of them or even know about them?

Awesome thread fodder!

 

[Bruh]

I am in a dilemma.  Let me explain.

When I was much younger I had a girlfriend.  When I joined the service, she sent me a "Dear John" letter.  Probably for the best at that time in my life.

However, I have always cared for her.  Now let me do some confessing.  I have found that those few girls I dated early in life (HS and college [not HAC]) I have always been concerned for.  It's not a romantic thing, but when you share a kiss with a girl, you share something very important.  This is one of the reasons (IMO, the main reason), why you should not date, but court, and only the one you want to marry.  Of course I didn't know this then and had no one to tell me otherwise.

So over the years I've wondered about this girl.  How she was doing, etc.  Years ago I called and spoke to her mother and she told me she had married.  Fine.  Good. (Her parents are now dead)

But about 10 years ago I started to think of her again.  You see, now I'm a Christian.  She needs to be a Christian too.

But searching for her by her married name produced little results.  The trail went cold.  I figured she was either dead or had remarried.  Well, she's not dead!  A few days ago I did a search again and used some creative search methods and got a clue!  One clue led to another and now I've found her!  She divorced twice and is married again.  I now have her info.

But now I'm torn.  Do I contact her and tell her how I've searched for her and give her my testimony, or should I contact her as an anonymous person and just share the gospel with her?

I have zero desire to enter her life.  But I feel I have a duty.

Any suggestions?

If you hadn't been posting here I'd call you a troll!

If you're married, I'd wouldn't mess with it, if you do you're stupid.

I do think it's weird that you still think about women you've kissed.


You make it sound like every girl you've kissed it was special?  That's sooooo stupid!!!!

 

[Twisted]

I do think it's weird that you still think about women you've kissed.

LOL!  No, I don't sit around thinking about that.  Ha!  Those girls are all grown women now and I can tell you that I've kept in contact with them over the years.  We are all friends.

If anything, I'd like to think they sit around thinking about kissing me!  Oh, the bliss!

LOL!!  No doubt some on here are popping a cork at such honest talk!

 

[Bruh]

I do think it's weird that you still think about women you've kissed.

LOL!  No, I don't sit around thinking about that.  Ha!  Those girls are all grown women now and I can tell you that I've kept in contact with them over the years.  We are all friends.

If anything, I'd like to think they sit around thinking about kissing me!  Oh, the bliss!

LOL!!  No doubt some on here are popping a cork at such honest talk!

You make it sound like every girl you've kissed it was special.

 

[Twisted]

You make it sound like every girl you've kissed it was special.

OK, enough.  I apologize if this is sounding like a soap opera.  That was not my intent.

 

[Bruh]

You make it sound like every girl you've kissed it was special.

OK, enough.  I apologize if this is sounding like a soap opera.  That was not my intent.

Ok, look, here's the thing......you can't be posting stuff like that on here..........ok! If you can't understand this......you might need Binaca Chugger to be you mentor.

 

[Binaca Chugger]

You make it sound like every girl you've kissed it was special?  That's sooooo stupid!!!!

Every girl I've ever kissed was so special I married her!

But, then, I've only ever kissed one girl.

 

[Bruh]

You make it sound like every girl you've kissed it was special?  That's sooooo stupid!!!!

Every girl I've ever kissed was so special I married her!

But, then, I've only ever kissed one girl.

That's awesome!

Twisted sounds like he was some kind of a women magnet.

 

[Norefund]

I think Tom's advice was the best.

 

[Binaca Chugger]

You make it sound like every girl you've kissed it was special?  That's sooooo stupid!!!!

Every girl I've ever kissed was so special I married her!

But, then, I've only ever kissed one girl.

That's awesome!

Twisted sounds like he was some kind of a women magnet.

I guess, in some ways, I was a good HACker.  Either that, or so ugly only one girl would!    I'm just happy that she still does!  8)

 

[Sherryh]

I think his name says it all.........Forum Psyco

 

[Smellin Coffee]

You make it sound like every girl you've kissed it was special?  That's sooooo stupid!!!!

Every girl I've ever kissed was so special I married her!

But, then, I've only ever kissed one girl.

Same here!

 

[deertracks]

Twisted seems to be living up to his name

 

[Walt]

I am in a dilemma.  Let me explain.

When I was much younger I had a girlfriend.  When I joined the service, she sent me a "Dear John" letter.  Probably for the best at that time in my life.

However, I have always cared for her.  Now let me do some confessing.  I have found that those few girls I dated early in life (HS and college [not HAC]) I have always been concerned for.  It's not a romantic thing, but when you share a kiss with a girl, you share something very important.  This is one of the reasons (IMO, the main reason), why you should not date, but court, and only the one you want to marry.  Of course I didn't know this then and had no one to tell me otherwise.

So over the years I've wondered about this girl.  How she was doing, etc.  Years ago I called and spoke to her mother and she told me she had married.  Fine.  Good. (Her parents are now dead)

But about 10 years ago I started to think of her again.  You see, now I'm a Christian.  She needs to be a Christian too.

But searching for her by her married name produced little results.  The trail went cold.  I figured she was either dead or had remarried.  Well, she's not dead!  A few days ago I did a search again and used some creative search methods and got a clue!  One clue led to another and now I've found her!  She divorced twice and is married again.  I now have her info.

But now I'm torn.  Do I contact her and tell her how I've searched for her and give her my testimony, or should I contact her as an anonymous person and just share the gospel with her?

I have zero desire to enter her life.  But I feel I have a duty.

Any suggestions?

I don't know about this; you say that you have "zero desire" to enter her life; however that is belied by the statements above "I've always cared for her", and that fact that you've been thinking of her. I'm not entirely sure that your only motive is her salvation.  It sounds like (to be honest) you are hoping to re-kindle something.

 

[Walt]

Are you married? If not, yes, contact her appropriately and witness to her. If you are married do not do so unless your wife agrees its a good idea.

A sane, reasonable and expected response.  Thanks.

But it raises the question about all those Christian men who have female "friends" on Facebook that their wives don't know.  Or about the women on forums like this one that use "forum names".  Do their wives agree with all of them or even know about them?

Sorry to raise another topic but, well, it was sorta planned that way.

On Facebook, my wife and I probably have the same list of friends, or close.  I have no problem at all with her seeing my friend list. I don't post very much on FB; I usually respond to what others have written, and I try to be very cautious about what I write to women.  I assume that my wife can see all of my posts, and I know that my Lord can.

On forums like this, I often have no idea if a poster is a man or woman unless a post says so, and then if the name is "generic", I can forget.  "Twisted" could be the name of a man or a woman, as could several of the monikers in use here.

I am not trying to find any relationship here; interested in addressing problems and issues (such as the OP) from a Biblical standpoint, or with Biblical wisdom.