Mixed Metphors For Fun And Prophet

[subllibrm]

Okay first we need to start with some basic instructions:  Pair off in threes, then line up in a circle, alphabetically by height.

Your challenge is to post one very entertaining mixed metaphor at a time. No long lists copied and pasted. One at a time.

 

[subllibrm]

A recent favorite:

It's no use, you are looking for a needle in a hayride.

 

[The Rogue Tomato]

My friend's father would accidentally mix expressions like, "That really irks my goat."

 

[Ransom]

Does the Pope live in the woods?

 

[rsc2a]

The Second Amendment guarantees the right to arm bears.

 

[subllibrm]

We'll drive off that bridge when we get to it.

 

[cubanito]

The best at it, Yogi: "when you come to a fork in the road, take it."

 

[Wisdoms Friend]

"Make like a banana... and leaf!"

 

[T-Bone]

You crack me down.

 

[subllibrm]

He hit the nail right between the eyes

 

[Ransom]

If you can't take a horse to water, then take the water to the horse.

 

[subllibrm]

It was so hot, he was sweating like a stuck pig

 

[The Rogue Tomato]

Life, liberty and the pearl suit of happiness

Hair today, gone tomorrow

 

[cubanito]

From my wife nearing menopause: "Ramon, I think I have mental pause."
laugh laugh laugh followed by:
"Oops, that was a Floridian slip, right Ramon."
my daughters are now peeing themselves from laughter when she adds,
"It is not funny Ramon, the fireballs in my uterus need to come out."

She has uterine fibroids.

My daughters are now turning blue, gasping for air, asking her to stop and she is just annoyed that I can't take her seriously just now

 

[subllibrm]

From my wife nearing menopause: "Ramon, I think I have mental pause."
laugh laugh laugh followed by:
"Oops, that was a Floridian slip, right Ramon."
my daughters are now peeing themselves from laughter when she adds,
"It is not funny Ramon, the fireballs in my uterus need to come out."

She has uterine fibroids.

My daughters are now turning blue, gasping for air, asking her to stop and she is just annoyed that I can't take her seriously just now

Not to pick nits but those are more mangled idioms than mixed metaphors. Hilarious though.

 

[subllibrm]

Good looking? She was drop down gorgeous!

 

[prophet]

The best at it, Yogi: "when you come to a fork in the road, take it."

Yes.  You could just quote Yogi for pages.

Haklo

 

[subllibrm]

The best at it, Yogi: "when you come to a fork in the road, take it."

Yes.  You could just quote Yogi for pages.

Haklo

Feel free to have at it.

90% of baseball is half mental.

 

[prophet]

It ain't the heat, its the humility-Yogi

Haklo

 

[Norefund]

It isn't rocket surgery.