Need some support

Starlifter

Starlifter

Well-known member
Elect
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
1,029
Reaction score
346
Points
83
Location
Pittsburgh
Anyone know of a good support group to aid those who are in the process of bringing aged parents into one's home?
 
I'm not aware of any off-hand but have friends who have done this. They can tell me what resources they've used. It seems to be working out well for them.
 
Several in my church are well experienced with elder care whether it's parents, spouses or others.

My mind goes to a gentleman who is actively involved with us whose wife had alzheimer's. Before she was diagnosed, she got wicked evil with him and they divorced. After she was diagnosed, he took her back knowing full well the responsibility he was taking on. They remarried and he patiently loved and cared for her. He gave a good life and preserved her dignity till her dying day. He learned much about navigating the health care system. Today, among other things, he helps a guy in our church who just turned 80 and lives by himself. This guy, Ed, is 83 and physically, he runs circles around people half his age. A real servant. At the Bema Seat when he gets called up, it's going to be epic!
 
My sister cares for the elderly, working with certain families who have loved ones in nursing homes, or those who have elderly relatives they need cared for in their own home. She's got four clients at present. She advised that one who is seeking resources ask some of the hospice outlets, and Christian based nursing homes for resources. She's so busy now she couldn't get home to recommend certain resources shes had over the past 20 years.
 
I have three siblings, all older brothers, who are assisting currently with a rotating schedule of caregiving for my mother in our homes. The challenges are certainly daunting, but can be a rewarding experience through the challenges. Here is one online support group that I have found some profitability with. It may help to give a platform for a person needing ideas and assistance, or just a place to vent…

Link

And a quick anecdotal story. A friend and coworker that I worked with for decades and was a family friend had in-home care experiences with his mother-in-law and so I went to him for some advice and he told me the story. He said that a successful medical physician friend of his found himself needing to care for his mother, and did not want to put them in a nursing home, so he, with all of his resources, elected to care for his elderly parent at home. Within about six months he had made the decision that it was in the long-term best interest of his loved one that professionals be able to look after them to meet their needs. That is just one perspective, but it seemed noteworthy to me.
 
ALAYMAN said:
I have three siblings, all older brothers, who are assisting currently with a rotating schedule of caregiving for my mother in our homes. The challenges are certainly daunting, but can be a rewarding experience through the challenges. Here is one online support group that I have found some profitability with. It may help to give a platform for a person needing ideas and assistance, or just a place to vent…

Link

And a quick anecdotal story. A friend and coworker that I worked with for decades and was a family friend had in-home care experiences with his mother-in-law and so I went to him for some advice and he told me the story. He said that a successful medical physician friend of his found himself needing to care for his mother, and did not want to put them in a nursing home, so he, with all of his resources, elected to care for his elderly parent at home. Within about six months he had made the decision that it was in the long-term best interest of his loved one that professionals be able to look after them to meet their needs. That is just one perspective, but it seemed noteworthy to me.
Click to expand...
We looked after my mother-in-law for 10 days over the holidays and she has dementia and really no longer knows anything but what she's doing at the moment. She really doesn't know anyone anymore. I have never had a more challenging 10 days in my life. You had to look after her 24/7. My poor wife took most of the burden but there were several segments of time that I looked after her myself and I can tell you it was a huge challenge. I slept downstairs and my mother-in-law slept in my bed with my wife. You could not let her out of your sight for a very long lest she wander away. She was always asking questions always wanting to do something else but never really able to do anything by herself. My father-in-law is in a rehab facility after having a stroke. Both of them are in Wisconsin (we were giving my sister inlaw a break)and are being looked after by my sister-in-law who is about ready to go crazy while trying to take care of both of them. I can tell you that it caused a lot of stress for the last 10 days between my children my wife Ministry and just living life.
 
Starlifter said:
We looked after my mother-in-law for 10 days over the holidays and she has dementia and really no longer knows anything but what she's doing at the moment. She really doesn't know anyone anymore. I have never had a more challenging 10 days in my life. You had to look after her 24/7. My poor wife took most of the burden but there were several segments of time that I looked after her myself and I can tell you it was a huge challenge. I slept downstairs and my mother-in-law slept in my bed with my wife. You could not let her out of your sight for a very long lest she wander away. She was always asking questions always wanting to do something else but never really able to do anything by herself. My father-in-law is in a rehab facility after having a stroke. Both of them are in Wisconsin (we were giving my sister inlaw a break)and are being looked after by my sister-in-law who is about ready to go crazy while trying to take care of both of them. I can tell you that it caused a lot of stress for the last 10 days between my children my wife Ministry and just living life.
Click to expand...
Back in 1985, when my wife and I moved to Indiana to help my grandfather with my grandmother who was diagnosed with dementia, we assisted my grandfather on a daily basis. We moved there in July of that year, and by the time December rolled around, my grandmother had been moved into the hospital several times for observation. Because the work situation where we lived was so bad, we were forced to go back to Georgia to work in my parent's business. Several months later, my grandfather suffered a stroke, and my grandmother was placed into a nursing home, where she truly should have been placed in the first place. It may sound harsh, but, I find that few senior citizens are equipped emotionally, physically, or financially to care for someone in this situation without affecting their own well-being.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top