Should parents charge rent to adult children who returned home?
- Thread starter ALAYMAN
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That's up to the parents. If the question is, what's best for the child returning, then that depends upon the circumstances.
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Dr. Huk-N-Duck
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Yes. Older parents have fewer earning years remaining and kids need to learn responsibility.
Absolutely
An older child should want to help with expenses whether it be in the form of rent, food, utilities or all three. If a child expects these things to be provided as before, then there's a problem.
I think it depends on the circumstances.
I haven't had one return yet, but only 1 of the 4 has moved out. My oldest son is 28 but I don't charge him rent. He was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis a few years ago, and has been getting infusions every 7-8 weeks. He does work full-time making about $30k a year, but the medical bills not covered by insurance for these infusions are close to $9k a year. I actually help him out with paying that. He doesn't go out and party, doesn't drink or smoke/vape, etc. - mostly as a result of his disease - he never knows when he'll have to run to the restroom. There have been times when we've been driving and he had me pull over quickly so he could run into bushes or a gas station if one was nearby. If I charged him rent, he'd never be able to save money because of his medical bills. He has enough saved up now for a nice down payment for a house and I'm encouraging him to keep saving as much as he can. I'm praying his disease goes into remission soon so his medical bills will decrease and then he'll be able to afford to move out.
If I see him start spending money foolishly, I'll start charging rent then, but I'd probably just put it into an account to give back to him when he does go to buy a house.
I haven't had one return yet, but only 1 of the 4 has moved out. My oldest son is 28 but I don't charge him rent. He was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis a few years ago, and has been getting infusions every 7-8 weeks. He does work full-time making about $30k a year, but the medical bills not covered by insurance for these infusions are close to $9k a year. I actually help him out with paying that. He doesn't go out and party, doesn't drink or smoke/vape, etc. - mostly as a result of his disease - he never knows when he'll have to run to the restroom. There have been times when we've been driving and he had me pull over quickly so he could run into bushes or a gas station if one was nearby. If I charged him rent, he'd never be able to save money because of his medical bills. He has enough saved up now for a nice down payment for a house and I'm encouraging him to keep saving as much as he can. I'm praying his disease goes into remission soon so his medical bills will decrease and then he'll be able to afford to move out.
If I see him start spending money foolishly, I'll start charging rent then, but I'd probably just put it into an account to give back to him when he does go to buy a house.
Of course not. You're helping him and I'm sure he's grateful for the assistance. Any good parent (with the means) would no less. I especially appreciated the fact that if he was spending foolishly, you'd charge him rent but eventually get it back to him. But if he has saved up what he has, he obviously has a good head on his shoulders. Probably got it from both parents.
Prayers for continued wisdom and grace... plus physical health... blessings.
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My parents did, during the two summers during my school years that I worked at home. Basically it was to offset the additional expense of feeding me, which they didn't otherwise have. I spent eight years at school or school-related jobs--and paid for housing the whole time, obviously, so it wasn't that big a deal. It was a factory job and I was pretty well paid.
Between school and my first job after graduation, I also lived at home. I didn't have any income yet, and didn't pay rent either.
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Dr. Huk-N-Duck
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I wouldn’t condemn or congratulate a parent either way. Obviously there can be mitigating circumstances either way. Personally, I’d charge rent, but a very nominal amount—just enough to help cover additional food/electric expenses. Like Voicecrying, there’s a very high likelihood I’d just put the amount in an account and give it back to help as a deposit on a house or condo or whatever.
Ephesians 4:28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.
2 Thessalonians 3:11 For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies. 12 Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread. 13 But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing.
One should consider helping out with the expenses of living at home as he would have to learn to do that for himself when he does live alone elsewhere.
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mine has never charged me rent.... niether has my sister who i live with now... ... but they both assure me that i earn my keep...
.... however ...the 4 room mates that live here with us do pay rent.. but it;s only a small amount compared to what they would be paying somewhere else ...and for a place that;s not nearly as nice or secure as this one is... ....in hawaii extended families where multiple generations live in the same house together is not as unusual as it is on the mainland.... in fact here it;s considered a norm.... ..most young adults here wait longer to get married and start a family too than they do on the mainland... and when they finally do they still all remain in the same house together with parents and grandparents.... it;s been considered necessary for survival here for a long time...
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I sometimes wonder since upon the marriage ceremony as just cause for when a man leaves his father and his mother & cleave to one wife does not indirectly suggest that Biblically, children lives at home until they get married so that they aid the family in all things.mine has never charged me rent.... niether has my sister who i live with now... ... but they both assure me that i earn my keep...
in hawaii extended families where multiple generations live in the same house together is not as unusual as it is on the mainland.... in fact here it;s considered a norm.... ..most young adults here wait longer to get married and start a family too than they do on the mainland... and when they finally do they still all remain in the same house together with parents and grandparents.... it;s been considered necessary for survival here for a long time...
Psalm 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. 5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
I think it is the American dream and the "shaming" of adult children living at home that influences society into thinking all children when they become an adult, should leave home, but I am not finding such a practice in the Bible at all until marriage.
Matthew 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Of course, college education and the job placements from there has a tendency for why adult children do not go back home for that job they graduated for, even though they can make an effort to get that job near where they live, but when jobs are scarce, sometimes they cannot afford that luxury. Still, as time goes by, the family as well as the adult can keep an eye out for such job opportunities that would place him or her closer to home, if they want to. Sometimes, it is what it is.
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Dr. Huk-N-Duck
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It’s actually quite the opposite these days. Twenty or so years ago when I was finishing up college, it was almost unheard of (and undesirable) to live at home after graduating. Today, it’s called Peter Pan Syndrome or Failure to Launch. https://www.newsweek.com/failure-launch-syndrome-adult-children-parenting-1762310?amp=1
As our world & our country & our educational system & our media entertainment is degrading and heading towards that New World Order every day of the week, it is probably best for family to get back together in the KJV Bible daily, trusting Jesus Christ to be their personal Good Shepherd to be sober & vigilant every day and not just wait around for Sunday's sermons to do the job for them.
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If they don't, they should at least help pay the expenses of the household. That's what we tried to do when we had to live with my father and mother-in-law. Wasn't easy, but, we made do.