You might be an Old Path's Fundamental Baptist IF...

Tarheel Baptist

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You can't walk through Home Depot without knocking on every single display door.
 
You reject the authority of the Pope to speak ex cathedra on matters of doctrine because that?s what local church pastors are for.
 
You can only read or quote a Calvinist IF said Calvinist has been dead for at least 200 years.
 
Tarheel Baptist said:
You can't walk through Home Depot without knocking on every single display door.

I'm banned from Home Depot.

Not only knock on every door, but I'd leave a tract on each one.
 
Dancing is an abomination unless it takes place in an old black and white movie or on the stage of a musical at a fundamental college.
 
... if the drum set accompaniment is played on a cassette tape from the analog sound booth.


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... PowerPoint is known as what the preacher does after a vivid illustration of wickedness.
 
... if your piano doesn?t have a power outlet.


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... an ornithologist says he saw a blue bird and you look around for a church bus.


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FSSL said:
... if your piano doesn?t have a power outlet cord. 

There.  Fixed it.
 
As much as you dislike Muslims, you really admire the way they keep their women in line.
 
Rock music is perfectly acceptable to play in church so long as the person doing it is an evangelist who is demonstrating exactly how wrong it is to play rock music in church.
 
You believe...you KNOW...that the King James version was written to bring the Bible into the language of the common man of the 1600?s.
If today?s common man can?t understand it that?s his own stupid fault.
 
Tarheel Baptist said:
You believe...you KNOW...that the King James version was written to bring the Bible into the language of the common man of the 1600?s.
If today?s common man can?t understand it that?s his own stupid fault.

Stupid.jpg


 
You have music standards & convictions. One the on the other hand, if anyone else that does not have your standards & convictions then they do not have any.
 
fishinnut said:
You have music standards & convictions. One the on the other hand, if anyone else that does not have your standards & convictions then they do not have any.

Amen!  Covered in Church Ed. every year.
 
Tarheel Baptist said:
You reject the authority of the Pope to speak ex cathedra on matters of doctrine because that?s what local church pastors are for.
That'll leave a mark

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If you condemn the use of modern language versions of the Bible because the KJB is enough, but then you spend 35 minutes of every sermon defining and explaining what the KJB is saying to your audience.
 
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