You're bitter!!

J

Just me

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That is the tag I have heard labeled to everyone of the people who have left IFB churches over the years.  In the last several decades it has always been the 'title" given to those who have the audacity to move away from the flock of IFB'dom or mostly to move from the Cultish "IFBxer"  to the non Cultish IFB type church or any other for type church for that matter.

Rare is the time I did not hear the tag given to those who left and of course it was given to our family also as we left years ago.  It is such an easy title to give to someone.  The funny thing is that it is given by those who have no clue what the individuals they are calling bitter are like.  Usually they have never seen or even had any contact with them since they left.  Had the blessing recently to hear again how bitter my family still is all these years later.  SMH

Thus I must ask what does "you're bitter" mean?  In my opinion it simply means you no longer agree with the one calling you bitter.
 
Actually, Just Me, the person who accuses you of being bitter is describing himself (Romans 2:1).

The people who leave MIGHT be bitter, but the accuser definitely is. And if the people who leave are bitter, whose fault is that?

But some victims of an IFB pastor or church really might have to deal with bitterness. They were right, but they still might need to forgive the people who are wrong. And then they can move on to a more successful Christian life.
 
Just me: the usage of "bitter" in many churches today is close to what you think; it's not just that you don't agree with the one calling you bitter, but that you are additionally pointing out your disagreement to others.  That is what the leadership doesn't like -- when they are shown to be wrong, and "he/she is just bitter" is the normal reaction to discredit what is being said.  In reality, however, you are "bitter" if a previous experience has temporarily or permanently stopped the ability to obey God.  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.  Bitterness here implies that husbands cannot love their wives properly.  Likewise, we are commanded to not forsake the assembling of ourselves together.  Those bitter at a previous church experience may be more likely to decide to forsake attending church as God commands.  I hope that this helps.

Vince Massi: You are twisting Scripture.  It may be that the one doing the accusation is guilty of what he is accusing the accuser of, but it is simply ridiculous to thing that this always applies.  When my daughter accused my son of hitting her, that doesn't mean she actually hit him (their mother saw the incident).  When a preacher preaches false doctrine, and is accused of lying, that doesn't make the accuser a liar. We are supposed to judge what a preacher says by the Scripture, not by what a big name he has, or how loudly he preachers, or by how long he preaches.  A pastor of a  church I attended committed adultery - the ones bringing forward the accusation were not hiding their own adultery - they were obeying the Scriptures and "rebuking before all" the sins of a leader.
 
Walt said:
Just me: the usage of "bitter" in many churches today is close to what you think; it's not just that you don't agree with the one calling you bitter, but that you are additionally pointing out your disagreement to others.  That is what the leadership doesn't like -- when they are shown to be wrong, and "he/she is just bitter" is the normal reaction to discredit what is being said.  In reality, however, you are "bitter" if a previous experience has temporarily or permanently stopped the ability to obey God.  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.  Bitterness here implies that husbands cannot love their wives properly.  Likewise, we are commanded to not forsake the assembling of ourselves together.  Those bitter at a previous church experience may be more likely to decide to forsake attending church as God commands.  I hope that this helps.

Vince Massi: You are twisting Scripture.  It may be that the one doing the accusation is guilty of what he is accusing the accuser of, but it is simply ridiculous to thing that this always applies.  When my daughter accused my son of hitting her, that doesn't mean she actually hit him (their mother saw the incident).  When a preacher preaches false doctrine, and is accused of lying, that doesn't make the accuser a liar. We are supposed to judge what a preacher says by the Scripture, not by what a big name he has, or how loudly he preachers, or by how long he preaches.  A pastor of a  church I attended committed adultery - the ones bringing forward the accusation were not hiding their own adultery - they were obeying the Scriptures and "rebuking before all" the sins of a leader.
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Thanks Walt but there in lies the issue. The ones calling others bitter have no clue as to what the ones they are calling bitter are doing.  They do not know if they are attending church or reading their Bibles or if they are praying  It is also always the first critique that is thrown out there of others and in my book has no value because of the unknown I mentioned above.  For years I heard "Bro. so and so is bitter so stay away from them."  Well I would go around them and sure enough they are not in the least bit bitter yet the claim is thrown out there to control people.

So yes you are correct that leadership (and others) use it to hide behind when they are exposed.  Why not? No one needs to listen to or answer for the claims of a bitter person.  It is the fastest way to discredit others and it is sad.
 
Sorry, Walt, but it is not twisting Scripture to quote Scripture. Romans 2:1 tells us that you are judge are doing the same thing. A person who accuses you of being bitter is bitter.

And Walt, you are twisting Scripture when you teach that God's Word is false because it is ridiculous. It is not.
 
Vince Massi said:
Sorry, Walt, but it is not twisting Scripture to quote Scripture. Romans 2:1 tells us that you are judge are doing the same thing. A person who accuses you of being bitter is bitter.

And Walt, you are twisting Scripture when you teach that God's Word is false because it is ridiculous. It is not.
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Vince according to your logic and context, those that so vehemently oppose homosexuality are actually practicing homosexuals themselves.
 
The sad part to me is that never once have I heard one of these Cult IFBx leaders say, "Let's reach out with the loving hand of Christ and reach these people and help them." 

Instead, it is always, "They are bitter, leave them alone or else" are the words spoken by the "leadership"


so sad
 
Most pastors I have seen that throw the "they're bitter" phrase around when members of their church leave are pastors that have an ego problem. It hurts their ego to know that someone is not believing what they are instructing other to do or on how to live.

Using the phrase they're bitter without anything to base it on is just a cop out for a pastor that has no clue nor compassion.

I was accused of being disgruntled once after leaving a church. However the pastor that made that accusation never once came to me and asked why, he just threw that comment out there because they don't have to defend people that are disgruntled or bitter and there is no reason to talk to them about it because their bitterness would make them unreas1onable to speak to so the just let them go on their way hoping they don't infect other members with their attitude and thus the members that stay are instructed to avoid them.

All of this is baseless in most of the cases, there maybe some truth to it IF the pastor went and made an attempt to find out what was wrong with the member. Kind of like the Bible teaches about leaving the 99 and seeking the one.

Egotistical pastors approach is to circle the wagons and keep the one out for good because they are bitter.
 
TruthBearer said:
Most pastors I have seen that throw the "they're bitter" phrase around when members of their church leave are pastors that have an ego problem. It hurts their ego to know that someone is not believing what they are instructing other to do or on how to live.

Using the phrase they're bitter without anything to base it on is just a cop out for a pastor that has no clue nor compassion.

I was accused of being disgruntled once after leaving a church. However the pastor that made that accusation never once came to me and asked why, he just threw that comment out there because they don't have to defend people that are disgruntled or bitter and there is no reason to talk to them about it because their bitterness would make them unreas1onable to speak to so the just let them go on their way hoping they don't infect other members with their attitude and thus the members that stay are instructed to avoid them.

All of this is baseless in most of the cases, there maybe some truth to it IF the pastor went and made an attempt to find out what was wrong with the member. Kind of like the Bible teaches about leaving the 99 and seeking the one.

Egotistical pastors approach is to circle the wagons and keep the one out for good because they are bitter.
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This way they never have to answer for the terrible things they do to church members who decide to move on down the road.  And slandering those who leave helps keep those who are still there in line.  They don't want to be the next "nameless example" from the pulpit.

It is a convenient system these control freak pastors have set up for themselves.
 
Vince Massi said:
Sorry, Walt, but it is not twisting Scripture to quote Scripture. Romans 2:1 tells us that you are judge are doing the same thing. A person who accuses you of being bitter is bitter.

And Walt, you are twisting Scripture when you teach that God's Word is false because it is ridiculous. It is not.
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I would never say that God's Word is ridiculous; I am just saying that your understanding of this verse is ridiculous and false.

If you read the Scriptures in context, the point here is that the Jews felt themselves innately superior to the Gentiles. However, the ones doing the judging - his group - the Jews - were guilty of the same things that the Gentiles were doing. The wickedness of the Jews was no better than the wickedness of the Gentiles, even though the Jews were God's chosen people, and had the additional light of the Scriptures.
 
Just me you are right.  We were accused of being bitter because we left BHBC.  I had told the pastor why we were leaving so he knew the truth.  Had nothing to do with anger or bitterness but that I felt God wanted us to leave.  Still he claimed it was bitterness.  And for reasons to pointed out above.
 
Yeah the bitter card is easy to throw out there and never having to prove it as all who leave these Cultish leaders must be bitter.  No other explanation for it and the people will never question or doubt their leader because they have been brainwashed that way.  God's "anointed" are never wrong or never to be questioned because they have such a close walk with God.  lol


what a joke they are
 
Yes.  The problem is. The pastor is not the only one who is anointed.  Those who preach the gospel are...and those who have God's Holy Spirit in them....oops. that would be all Christian's. These pastors need to Remembered this.  They are to lead God's childern in the love of Christ.  Not rule or lord over them
 
ubyy said:
Yes.  The problem is. The pastor is not the only one who is anointed.  Those who preach the gospel are...and those who have God's Holy Spirit in them....oops. that would be all Christian's. These pastors need to Remembered this.  They are to lead God's childern in the love of Christ.  Not rule or lord over them
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Or, even worse, "the pastor" is a completely fictional made up position, not found in the NT.
 
Well of course there are those that leave WH bitter and understandably so, but...to stay bitter is sin.  Those who stay bitter generally end up doing nothing again for God and their families destroyed.  It's very sad to witness, and they will answer to God for themselves. 

But know this, that "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea." Mark 9:42  I believe the millstone(S) have been hung already.  And may God have mercy on their unwitting children.
 
I Know said:
Well of course there are those that leave WH bitter and understandably so, but...to stay bitter is sin.  Those who stay bitter generally end up doing nothing again for God and their families destroyed.  It's very sad to witness, and they will answer to God for themselves. 

But know this, that "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea." Mark 9:42  I believe the millstone(S) have been hung already.  And may God have mercy on their unwitting children.
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I know many of the staffers who have left and have been deemed bitter by Vineyard and his gang.  I have heard the stories told by Vineyard for their departures and I have heard their reasons for leaving from them personally.  It is amazing how seldom he two match up.  But I have seen many who left and have continued in "full time" Christian service and I have seen those that have not gone back in to the ministry full time.  Of those who have not returned into "full time" service I have not seen a high failure rate in their families.  Several have actually drawn their families closer together through it all.

But you are correct "I Know" on the millstones about the necks.
 
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