"Your lack of intelligence exceeds that of a cardboard receptacle containing various sedimentary or igneous fragments."
The connotation of this one is well-known in the South!Bless your heart.
Bless your heart.
You're more flaky than Pillsbury Pie Dough.
Same. Mom told me this often.Were it not for the fact that my cranial assembly was secured to my upper torso via threaded hexagonally driven fasteners, there would be a great likelihood of me depositing it in a random location and forgetting to retrieve it upon my departure.
Joe doesn't go that direction...can't...
Guys, I think the point is to restate these in a more formal and loquacious manner.
Joe, loquacious means wordy.