Wives, Sisters, and Daughters, Please Speak

[Jo]

I started this thread as a continuation of a conversation from my thread entitled "Dave and Paula's Wedding."

It has bothered me for years when "good men do nothing." Especially regarding the victims of sexual abuse in the IFB world.

Over ten years ago, I sat across from a pastor and his wife whom I knew when I taught at a Christian school. The Jack Schaap scandal came out the year before, and I read enough to feel confident that it was true. The pastor in Indiana said to me, "IF it's true....."

I looked him in the eye and said, "Oh, it's true."

We were both quiet after that. I was not going to back down. I saw the polished shaft "sermon" on youtube, etc.

All of that to say, I think the women who are sisters, wives, ex-wives, daughters of predators in the IFB should speak out. Please share your truth.

David's ex-wife publicly shared what she knew. Linda shared what she knew. There are the victims who spoke in "Let Us Prey."

If you know something or saw something and want to share it, please do so....either here or share where it will be heard.

It's time for "good women" to talk.

I would love to hear what Brenda Stevens Hyles has to say.

 

[ALAYMAN]

I’m not trying to throw a cold rag on your efforts, merely to try to understand. Any person who has been traumatized and abused should have justice and healing.

What positive impact or outcome is accomplished in this call to speak out on a public forum? And how do you know that it isn’t something that is just made up when somebody speaks it?

 

[Plowman]

Years ago, a pastor near where I lived was convicted and sent to prison for molesting young boys in his church. I didn't know him, but my path had crossed his wife's because of her profession.
She swore that her husband had been framed and that he would never do anything like he'd been accused of doing.
Ironically, a few years after that, the woman who bought his old house hired me to make some repairs to it.
One day, as I was working, the new owner asked if she could talk with me about something she knew about the pastor. When I said yes, she opened a box of brown paper envelopes that she said had come to her house, addressed to the pastor, for several months after she had moved into their old house. She said she'd accidentally opened the first one she received without checking the mailing address and was horrified that the large manila envelope contained images of men and boys engaged in sex. She asked me what she should do, and I told her to burn them.
The thing that bothered me was that his wife swore to me that he had been framed and that he'd never do anything like that.
She had to know with mail coming to their house monthly. But she was in denial.

 

[ALAYMAN]

Years ago, a pastor near where I lived was convicted and sent to prison for molesting young boys in his church. I didn't know him, but my path had crossed his wife's because of her profession.
She swore that her husband had been framed and that he would never do anything like he'd been accused of doing.
Ironically, a few years after that, the woman who bought his old house hired me to make some repairs to it.
One day, as I was working, the new owner asked if she could talk with me about something she knew about the pastor. When I said yes, she opened a box of brown paper envelopes that she said had come to her house, addressed to the pastor, for several months after she had moved into their old house. She said she'd accidentally opened the first one she received without checking the mailing address and was horrified that the large manila envelope contained images of men and boys engaged in sex. She asked me what she should do, and I told her to burn them.
The thing that bothered me was that his wife swore to me that he had been framed and that he'd never do anything like that.
She had to know with mail coming to their house monthly. But she was in denial.

If they were child porography materials in postal materials addressed to the pastor I wouldn’t have advised her to burn them but to turn them over to the police.

 

[AverageJoe]

This is becoming increasingly common in our churches today, and it's a blot on the name of Christ. When things like this are posted on a public forum for conversation it makes all the worse. Consider the unsaved people who come to this site and try to see what Christianity is. Discussion for these kinds of subjects should be held in PRIVATE forum on this site with a password required. Maybe there should be one.....

 

[voicecrying]

This is becoming increasingly common in our churches today, and it's a blot on the name of Christ. When things like this are posted on a public forum for conversation it makes all the worse. Consider the unsaved people who come to this site and try to see what Christianity is. Discussion for these kinds of subjects should be held in PRIVATE forum on this site with a password required. Maybe there should be one.....

I usually agree with you, but I think being transparent and calling out the offenders in these cases shows that we won't tolerate their behavior and won't sweep their offenses under the rug.

As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.
1 Timothy 5:20

 

[biscuit1953]

I usually agree with you, but I think being transparent and calling out the offenders in these cases shows that we won't tolerate their behavior and won't sweep their offenses under the rug.

As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.
1 Timothy 5:20

1, ¶ This is the third time I am coming to you. In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.
2, I told you before, and foretell you, as if I were present, the second time; and being absent now I write to them which heretofore have sinned, and to all other, that, if I come again, I will not spare:

I agree with you that these things aren’t to be swept under the rug but there is also a biblical principle that damning accusations should not be taken at face value because of one accusation. I have no idea who you are but if I did I could come on this forum and accuse you of child abuse or any other horrible crime which would spread rapidly over the internet and your life could easily be destroyed.

The damage of gossip. A woman once spread some juicy gossip about a local pastor. What he had supposedly done became common knowledge around town. Then she found that what she had heard wasn't true. She went to the pastor and asked for his forgiveness. The pastor forgave her, but then told her to take a pillow full of tiny feathers to a corner of the town, and in high winds, shake the feathers out. Then he told her to try to pick up every feather. He explained that the damage was like trying to pick up feathers in high winds.​

The Bible says that there is life and death in the power of the tongue (Prov 18:21).

Bolton woman's rape lies ruined our lives, say victims

Men who were falsely accused of rape by Stacey Sharples describe what has happened to them.

www.bbc.com

 

[sword]

Creating a culture where people feel free to come forward when they are hurt or abused is the key. Women and children most of all need to know we will listen and they wil;l be protected. In churches and in our country as a whole this is essential. How much better would it be if we deal with these situations within days of them happening. When there is evidence and witnesses and the pattern of harm can be stopped then. comming our against political figures 35 years later helps no one. Who do you believe. What evidence or witness can be brought forward. How could anyone defend themselves. I think of the epstien list. so many people listed who did nothing and so many others who should be in jail. I do you know which is which. after all these year who do you believe. These situtiond must be dealt with as soon as possible. that is why statute of limitation laws exist. WE MUST CREATE A CULTURE where everyone know you will be caught and you will pay.

 

[Sherryh]

Years ago, a pastor near where I lived was convicted and sent to prison for molesting young boys in his church. I didn't know him, but my path had crossed his wife's because of her profession.
She swore that her husband had been framed and that he would never do anything like he'd been accused of doing.
Ironically, a few years after that, the woman who bought his old house hired me to make some repairs to it.
One day, as I was working, the new owner asked if she could talk with me about something she knew about the pastor. When I said yes, she opened a box of brown paper envelopes that she said had come to her house, addressed to the pastor, for several months after she had moved into their old house. She said she'd accidentally opened the first one she received without checking the mailing address and was horrified that the large manila envelope contained images of men and boys engaged in sex. She asked me what she should do, and I told her to burn them.
The thing that bothered me was that his wife swore to me that he had been framed and that he'd never do anything like that.
She had to know with mail coming to their house monthly. But she was in denial.

yes look at Brenda Hyles...............

 

[Bruh]

This is becoming increasingly common in our churches today, and it's a blot on the name of Christ. When things like this are posted on a public forum for conversation it makes all the worse. Consider the unsaved people who come to this site and try to see what Christianity is. Discussion for these kinds of subjects should be held in PRIVATE forum on this site with a password required. Maybe there should be one.....

And to see Christians have some sort of compassion towards these people and willing to welcome them into membership.

 

[voicecrying]

1, ¶ This is the third time I am coming to you. In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.
2, I told you before, and foretell you, as if I were present, the second time; and being absent now I write to them which heretofore have sinned, and to all other, that, if I come again, I will not spare:

I agree with you that these things aren’t to be swept under the rug but there is also a biblical principle that damning accusations should not be taken at face value because of one accusation. I have no idea who you are but if I did I could come on this forum and accuse you of child abuse or any other horrible crime which would spread rapidly over the internet and your life could easily be destroyed.

The damage of gossip. A woman once spread some juicy gossip about a local pastor. What he had supposedly done became common knowledge around town. Then she found that what she had heard wasn't true. She went to the pastor and asked for his forgiveness. The pastor forgave her, but then told her to take a pillow full of tiny feathers to a corner of the town, and in high winds, shake the feathers out. Then he told her to try to pick up every feather. He explained that the damage was like trying to pick up feathers in high winds.​

The Bible says that there is life and death in the power of the tongue (Prov 18:21).

Bolton woman's rape lies ruined our lives, say victims

Men who were falsely accused of rape by Stacey Sharples describe what has happened to them.

www.bbc.com

That's why included the verse I did about those who persist in sin.

 

[biscuit1953]

That's why included the verse I did about those who persist in sin.

But isn’t encouraging someone to come to this forum to accuse a pastor or other Christian leaders of a crime that can’t be corroborated a violation of Paul’s principle? The abuse of someone like Bob Gray in Jacksonville was well documented by police records and cover-ups by the deacons and others in the church. The exposure must begin at the local church, not on an internet forum by anonymous posters making accusations that may or may not be true.

 

[voicecrying]

But isn’t encouraging someone to come to this forum to accuse a pastor or other Christian leaders of a crime that can’t be corroborated a violation of Paul’s principle? The abuse of someone like Bob Gray in Jacksonville was well documented by police records and cover-ups by the deacons and others in the church. The exposure must begin at the local church, not on an internet forum by anonymous posters making accusations that may or may not be true.

I don't think that was the spirit of the OP.

 

[ALAYMAN]

That's why included the verse I did about those who persist in sin.

But doesn’t the notion of rebuking those who persist in sin denote that there’s credible knowledge of that sin? And wouldn’t that context be within the authority and structure of the church?

 

[ALAYMAN]

And to see Christians have some sort of compassion towards these people and willing to welcome them into membership.

“And when Saul was come to Jerusalem, he assayed to join himself to the disciples: but they were all afraid of him, and believed not that he was a disciple. But Barnabas took him, and brought him to the apostles, and declared unto them how he had seen the Lord in the way, and that he had spoken to him, and how he had preached boldly at Damascus in the name of Jesus.”
‭‭
Pretty sure I know which group you’d fall in when it came to accepting/rejecting that murderer Saul/Paul.

 

[voicecrying]

But doesn’t the notion of rebuking those who persist in sin denote that there’s credible knowledge of that sin? And wouldn’t that context be within the authority and structure of the church?

Yes, I think the spirit of the OP was credible knowledge. The church universal needs to be aware of these offenders so they can't be shipped off to another church after being rebuked in the local church.

 

[ALAYMAN]

Yes, I think the spirit of the OP was credible knowledge. The church universal needs to be aware of these offenders so they can't be shipped off to another church after being rebuked in the local church.

If that’s what’s intended/meant then I completely agree.

 

[Bruh]

“And when Saul was come to Jerusalem, he assayed to join himself to the disciples: but they were all afraid of him, and believed not that he was a disciple. But Barnabas took him, and brought him to the apostles, and declared unto them how he had seen the Lord in the way, and that he had spoken to him, and how he had preached boldly at Damascus in the name of Jesus.”
‭‭
Pretty sure I know which group you’d fall in when it came to accepting/rejecting that murderer Saul/Paul.

The murderer of Christians. It didn’t say, the child molester.

 

[ALAYMAN]

The murderer of Christians. It didn’t say, the child molester.

Can a molester be forgiven by God? How about forgiven by you?

 

[Bruh]

Can a molester be forgiven by God? How about forgiven by you?

I’m not God.

What you might be forgetting is that child molesters backslide just like me.