Advice Requested

Walt

Walt

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A  friend of mine goes to another church; his daughter is a little older than mine.

During her junior year at a Bible College, she met a senior and they hit it off and began dating.  He graduated and started working on staff of a church (pastored by her uncle, but I don't know if that is relevant).

She is thinking about not  going back to school, but getting married instead.

I have thoughts on the matter, but I'll wait a bit - I kind of wonder what the people here would advise her  father (or her).

Would the advice differ if she were attending a secular college?
What if, instead of having completed her junior year, she just finished her freshman year?  Her sophomore year?

Thanks!
 
What does she want to do for a career?


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If he can wait, then she should finish.

After the "hots" wear off and reality sets in, she'll look back and regret being so close and not finishing.
 
I grew up in IFB and the idea was to "give God" a year of Bible College. Unfortunately, that mindset was just pure pietism. Especially when accreditation was ignored and even chided.

The question must be "what career?" If there is not clarity there, then recommending a college education is just a "stab in the dark." Why waste money and time in college or give advice if their desire/career choice does not require college?
 
FSSL said:
Why waste money and time in college or give advice if their desire/career choice does not require college?
Click to expand...

Exactly my question!
 
My wife stopped midway and has had zero regrets. Completing a full 4 year degree from a Bible college would have contributed zilch... except more debt.

She now works for a marine biologist (not of necessity) and is getting a certification in Naturalist studies. A 9 week course to enhance her current situation/credibility. An elementary ed degree would be worthless.
 
I would advise her to go back and get a degree from an accredited college. Finishing shows she is willing to work toward a goal. And lets be realistic, divorce happens. At least having an accredited college degree will help her get back in the work force and at least make more then minimum wage.
 
4everfsu said:
I would advise her to go back and get a degree from an accredited college. Finishing shows she is willing to work toward a goal. And lets be realistic, divorce happens. At least having an accredited college degree will help her get back in the work force and at least make more then minimum wage.
Click to expand...

Sound advice, but there is nothing in the OP to suggest the college is not accredited.

But if it isn't, then she would probably have to start all over, as many accredited schools won't accept credits from a non-accredited school.  Of course there are exceptions.
 
What kind of "Bible college" is this, and what is her end goal in pursuing a diploma? If she has a particular career/vocation in mind, and finishing her program is a means to that end, she would be wise to complete it. On the other hand, if she just wants the stereotypical "MRS degree," it doesn't look like she needs to finish to obtain that.

I would be all for finishing education, especially if it qualifies the graduate for a career with a wider application than church pianist or secretary or "pastor's wife." At the very least, it's today's economic reality that two paycheques are almost a necessity. I can't imagine an assistant pastor just starting out after graduation is in a position to earn a family wage.
 
Some additional information:

I don't think that she went off the Bible college attempting to get her MRS degree; from talking with my daughter, it seems her original plans were to finish Bible college, get an accredited teaching degree, and then try to get a job teaching English in a foreign country, with opportunities to talk about Christ.  So, it seems that she had a plan.

Things change; looks like her current plan is to Mrs. Whoever, and work with him in his ministry... probably try to give my friend his first grandchild (definitely have to give him a hard time).

I don't think the Bible college is accredited.


 
Walt said:
A  friend of mine goes to another church; his daughter is a little older than mine.

During her junior year at a Bible College, she met a senior and they hit it off and began dating.  He graduated and started working on staff of a church (pastored by her uncle, but I don't know if that is relevant).

She is thinking about not  going back to school, but getting married instead.

I have thoughts on the matter, but I'll wait a bit - I kind of wonder what the people here would advise her  father (or her).

Would the advice differ if she were attending a secular college?
What if, instead of having completed her junior year, she just finished her freshman year?  Her sophomore year?

Thanks!
Click to expand...

I'm going to make it dark extremely quick, apologies in advance but I'll still say it.

If she can't commit to complete her degree, can she commit to her marriage for a lifetime? Character.
 
TheRealJonStewart said:
Walt said:
A  friend of mine goes to another church; his daughter is a little older than mine.

During her junior year at a Bible College, she met a senior and they hit it off and began dating.  He graduated and started working on staff of a church (pastored by her uncle, but I don't know if that is relevant).

She is thinking about not  going back to school, but getting married instead.

I have thoughts on the matter, but I'll wait a bit - I kind of wonder what the people here would advise her  father (or her).

Would the advice differ if she were attending a secular college?
What if, instead of having completed her junior year, she just finished her freshman year?  Her sophomore year?

Thanks!
Click to expand...

I'm going to make it dark extremely quick, apologies in advance but I'll still say it.

If she can't commit to complete her degree, can she commit to her marriage for a lifetime? Character.
Click to expand...

Fair enough; I can respect your opinion.

From what I know of her, she seems to have very good character. I get the impression that she now feels that the last school will merely add debt, and that she is well able to help her intended in the ministry.

Nevertheless, I think it says something about a person that they stayed focused enough to get a degree - even if the school is unaccredited.
 
Why not get married and attend a nearby community college?  Aside from divorce, there is always a risk of being disabled at some point. Getting an accredited degree or having a good career can help with financial stability and keep a roof over one's head. (Written by a 60 year old disabled woman who graduated from an unaccredited Bible college in her 20s).

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Jo said:
Why not get married and attend a nearby community college?  Aside from divorce, there is always a risk of being disabled at some point. Getting an accredited degree or having a good career can help with financial stability and keep a roof over one's head. (Written by a 60 year old disabled woman who graduated from an unaccredited Bible college in her 20s).
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Click to expand...
Perhaps this young lady had no intention of earning a degree. Perhaps she wanted to be in the ministry and her intent was to attend Christian College with the sole purpose of finding as spouse.

Though anecdotal, I can quickly name several dozen girls who chose to attend various Christian Colleges with the sole purpose of meeting a, ?like minded?, Christian with the goal of one day marrying.
 
TheRealJonStewart said:
If she can't commit to complete her degree, can she commit to her marriage for a lifetime? Character.
Click to expand...

You're not married to your school, and you don't swear before God and witnesses that you commit to finishing your program.

A college is a business providing a service. If you no longer need their service, you stop attending the college. Simple as that.
 
Ransom said:
TheRealJonStewart said:
If she can't commit to complete her degree, can she commit to her marriage for a lifetime? Character.
Click to expand...

You're not married to your school, and you don't swear before God and witnesses that you commit to finishing your program.

A college is a business providing a service. If you no longer need their service, you stop attending the college. Simple as that.
Click to expand...

If you no longer need the marriage, you divorce?
 
TheRealJonStewart said:
If you no longer need the marriage, you divorce?
Click to expand...

I already pointed out that you're not married to your school. You appear oblivious to reality.
 
TheRealJonStewart said:
Doesn't that depend on how you view marriage?
Click to expand...

Which one of us views marriage as a temporary contract?

No, it depends on how you incorrectly view school.
 
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