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The problem as I see it is the "us against them" mindset that has taken such deep root in our society. No one understands nuance or considers circumstance.
How that relates to the OP is summed up in statements like "I don't mind helping those who are willing to help themselves but there is no way that I am giving a dime to some deadbeat". How delightfully convenient to have the excuse in hand before the need is communicated. And how quickly the determination of deadbeatism follows.
Most of our churches have some sort of youth program. Do any have mentoring programs to help the parents of those "bus kids" from the projects (or trailer parks or down in the holler)? Sometimes it isn't that the parents don't "want to" it is that they don't know how. Worse, they don't think that they can. Neither of the approaches common to the american church help much. All stick (you get yourself cleaned up and we will help) or all carrot (who are we to judge, we just keep giving cause Jesus told us to) both fail. Repeatedly.
Help them with expectations (note I am not saying conditions) that they can and will succeed. Build relationships that give rise to teaching and training. This should look a lot like how a parent develops good habits in their child. Mentoring, life coaching, discipling; call it what you will but there needs to be an investment beyond money or things.
Yes, I know that I am rambling.
How that relates to the OP is summed up in statements like "I don't mind helping those who are willing to help themselves but there is no way that I am giving a dime to some deadbeat". How delightfully convenient to have the excuse in hand before the need is communicated. And how quickly the determination of deadbeatism follows.
Most of our churches have some sort of youth program. Do any have mentoring programs to help the parents of those "bus kids" from the projects (or trailer parks or down in the holler)? Sometimes it isn't that the parents don't "want to" it is that they don't know how. Worse, they don't think that they can. Neither of the approaches common to the american church help much. All stick (you get yourself cleaned up and we will help) or all carrot (who are we to judge, we just keep giving cause Jesus told us to) both fail. Repeatedly.
Help them with expectations (note I am not saying conditions) that they can and will succeed. Build relationships that give rise to teaching and training. This should look a lot like how a parent develops good habits in their child. Mentoring, life coaching, discipling; call it what you will but there needs to be an investment beyond money or things.
Yes, I know that I am rambling.