EPIC FAILS:

[Binaca Chugger]

I was talking with a pastor this weekend and shared some of the promotions that didn't work.  He shared some of the ideas that he had tried in his ministry that didn't work.  We laughed together for a while and then he made the statement:  "There ought to be some place online or maybe a book of Ministry Fails."  What better place than the HACker forum!?!  So, let's hear it.  We have posted many of these in various threads and on various versions of the forum, but let's compile them here.

As always, one fail per post and keep 'em coming!

 

[sword]

Giving baby chicks as a bus promotion has to make this list.

Can someone share the detail of the story.

 

[brainisengaged]

Ham and Watermelon for the African-Americans living in the housing projects.  ??? : :-\ :-X

 

[Bruh]

Ham and Watermelon for the African-Americans living in the housing projects.  ??? : :-\ :-X

Killing myself laughing.  STOP!!!

 

[Binaca Chugger]

Ham and Watermelon for the African-Americans living in the housing projects.  ??? : :-\ :-X

Seriously?  joking, right?  WOW!  I am ROFL!

 

[Binaca Chugger]

Human Pinata:

A guy wore a trash bag filled with candy.  He was supposed to run through the park and drop candy when the kids bumped him.  However, several of them found sticks, and, well........60 bus kids chasing a worker through the park who was screaming all the way.  Looked like a scene from the deep south, only in reverse .  He finally tore off the bag and ran for his life.  Poor guy had bruises all over.

 

[Binaca Chugger]

Giving baby chicks as a bus promotion has to make this list.

Can someone share the detail of the story.

I did worse than that - I ate their mother!

- JH

 

[RAIDER]

Ham and Watermelon for the African-Americans living in the housing projects.  ??? : :-\ :-X

Seriously?  joking, right?  WOW!  I am ROFL!

I don't remember the ham, but I do remember the watermelon.  DISASTER!!

 

[Binaca Chugger]

I didn't do it, but it has to rank up there:

Take a picture of yourself praying on top of the church roof to be circulated.....

 

[Binaca Chugger]

Ham and Watermelon for the African-Americans living in the housing projects.  ??? : :-\ :-X

Seriously?  joking, right?  WOW!  I am ROFL!

I don't remember the ham, but I do remember the watermelon.  DISASTER!!

Oh, the thought of a bunch of white boys showing up in cheap, tacky suits at the Robert Taylor homes to hand out watermelon to anyone who will listen to their service.  ROFL.

 

[cast.sheep]

YMBAH if you ever stood in line for a piece of the old drop ceiling and/or carpet from the recently remodeled auditorium that was given out as "prizes" one program.  It was in the mid to late 80's, I believe.  Not many takers.  (giggle)

 

[Binaca Chugger]

YMBAH if you ever stood in line for a piece of the old drop ceiling and/or carpet from the recently remodeled auditorium that was given out as "prizes" one program.  It was in the mid to late 80's, I believe.  Not many takers.  (giggle)

There was a bus parked at HB filled with that stuff waiting for people to come claim their panels.  They never did.

 

[brainisengaged]

Not joking. Phoster Club. Altgeld Gardens. Ham & Watermelons. We smilingly knocked on every door and enticed them to come to church by offering them a chance to win ham and/or watermelons in a big raffle we would hold after church.

 

[Binaca Chugger]

I was baptizing two teen girls that Sunday morning.  Families had come to church for this special occasion.  The whole service was about baptism leading up to this beautiful occasion for these two friends.  I put on the waders and got into the baptistry.  There it was.  A dead mouse in the bottom of the pool.  The girls were already a little nervous.  What do I do?  I asked them to keep their eyes on me or their friend to alleviate the nervousness, did everything I could to keep that floating mouse behind my body (the water was stirred, donchyaknow) and baptized them both..................and yet there is room!

 

[Binaca Chugger]

I was on staff at a larger IFB church.  We were promoting a church-wide day of soulwinning for three months.  Every ministry had every worker there.  Groups were fasting and holding special prayer meetings for this day.  The goal was for new soulwinners to see people trust Christ.  they would get excited about it and learn how to share the Gospel.  People took off work to be there that day.  Many staff put in lots of hours in teaching and preparing for this day.  We were supposed to meet at the church in the morning for a challenge to the workers, songs and prayer, then meet back that night for a celebratory testimony time and dinner.

Morning of the event.  The youth leader gets up to start the service and announces that the pastor and his family decided to stay at a church where he had been preaching that week because they really need the time off.  "You know, pastor works so hard that he really needs some rest when he can get the opportunity.  They were enjoying their time out of town and we thought they should be able to just have some time off.  You folks have a great day out soulwinning!"  And that was it.

Walking out, I heard several church members comment that if the preacher wasn't going out, neither would they.  Two families were talking about "This is the last time I plan to spend a Saturday doing church stuff."

Epic fail.

 

[Binaca Chugger]

Western theme VBS.  Somebody had the bright idea to give kids bull whips.  Cracks and Screams were heard all over the church.

 

[RAIDER]

I was on staff at a larger IFB church.  We were promoting a church-wide day of soulwinning for three months.  Every ministry had every worker there.  Groups were fasting and holding special prayer meetings for this day.  The goal was for new soulwinners to see people trust Christ.  they would get excited about it and learn how to share the Gospel.  People took off work to be there that day.  Many staff put in lots of hours in teaching and preparing for this day.  We were supposed to meet at the church in the morning for a challenge to the workers, songs and prayer, then meet back that night for a celebratory testimony time and dinner.

Morning of the event.  The youth leader gets up to start the service and announces that the pastor and his family decided to stay at a church where he had been preaching that week because they really need the time off.  "You know, pastor works so hard that he really needs some rest when he can get the opportunity.  They were enjoying their time out of town and we thought they should be able to just have some time off.  You folks have a great day out soulwinning!"  And that was it.

Walking out, I heard several church members comment that if the preacher wasn't going out, neither would they.  Two families were talking about "This is the last time I plan to spend a Saturday doing church stuff."

Epic fail.

A big "no no" on an elementary level. 

 

[Binaca Chugger]

I was on staff at a larger IFB church.  We were promoting a church-wide day of soulwinning for three months.  Every ministry had every worker there.  Groups were fasting and holding special prayer meetings for this day.  The goal was for new soulwinners to see people trust Christ.  they would get excited about it and learn how to share the Gospel.  People took off work to be there that day.  Many staff put in lots of hours in teaching and preparing for this day.  We were supposed to meet at the church in the morning for a challenge to the workers, songs and prayer, then meet back that night for a celebratory testimony time and dinner.

Morning of the event.  The youth leader gets up to start the service and announces that the pastor and his family decided to stay at a church where he had been preaching that week because they really need the time off.  "You know, pastor works so hard that he really needs some rest when he can get the opportunity.  They were enjoying their time out of town and we thought they should be able to just have some time off.  You folks have a great day out soulwinning!"  And that was it.

Walking out, I heard several church members comment that if the preacher wasn't going out, neither would they.  Two families were talking about "This is the last time I plan to spend a Saturday doing church stuff."

Epic fail.

A big "no no" on an elementary level.

MOG syndrome gives you a bad case of the stupids.

 

[RAIDER]

A HAC grad was an assistant pastor at my home church.  He had a "Beat the Devil Sunday".  Anyone who rode the bus got to throw water balloons at the devil.  Well, the assistant pastor chose a fellow in his mid 20s to play the devil.  This fellow was wound tighter than a new boot.

The kids had water balloons after church and were outside waiting.  The guy playing the devil had the full outfit.  He started running at kids and complete havoc broke out.  Little kids were crying and in full panic.

Things finally calmed down and the kids were loaded on the bus.  The devil hadn't had enough.  He tried to get on the busses.  He was pounding on the windows and climbing on the hood.  Complete panic once again broke out.  Needless to say, there were several phone calls to the church and several riders who never returned.

Epic Fail.

 

[RAIDER]

I was on staff at a larger IFB church.  We were promoting a church-wide day of soulwinning for three months.  Every ministry had every worker there.  Groups were fasting and holding special prayer meetings for this day.  The goal was for new soulwinners to see people trust Christ.  they would get excited about it and learn how to share the Gospel.  People took off work to be there that day.  Many staff put in lots of hours in teaching and preparing for this day.  We were supposed to meet at the church in the morning for a challenge to the workers, songs and prayer, then meet back that night for a celebratory testimony time and dinner.

Morning of the event.  The youth leader gets up to start the service and announces that the pastor and his family decided to stay at a church where he had been preaching that week because they really need the time off.  "You know, pastor works so hard that he really needs some rest when he can get the opportunity.  They were enjoying their time out of town and we thought they should be able to just have some time off.  You folks have a great day out soulwinning!"  And that was it.

Walking out, I heard several church members comment that if the preacher wasn't going out, neither would they.  Two families were talking about "This is the last time I plan to spend a Saturday doing church stuff."

Epic fail.

A big "no no" on an elementary level.

MOG syndrome gives you a bad case of the stupids.

Agreed!