Humorous HAC Stories

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RAIDER

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We have all witnessed them.  Perhaps you have been a part of them.  When you think about them it still brings a smile to your face.  They are humorous HAC stories! 

*As is our custom, one story per post, because it's all about.............hey, you know the rest!
 
John Roach was a geeky little guy.  He always reminded my of Ernie from My Three Sons.  Even though he dressed like a Hacker, he was not a Hacker.  He always looked nerdy, sloppy, and unkept.  He always seemed to find his way into the group with whom I ran.  We really didn't mind as he was kind of a novelty that made you laugh.

Dave Hedger was an upperclassmen from California.  Dave was meticulous in his dress and appearance.  His clothing and hair length always pushed the HAC comfort line.  Dave would shop at a mall store called The Lark.  They had some wild clothing.

One afternoon Dave decided to give John some of his old clothing.  He dressed him up in California style.  The clothing and shoes were a bit big on him, but what did Roach care?

I was getting ready to leave my dorm room and head to the dinning hall.  There was a knock.  I opened the door and there stood John Roach all decked out.  He had his big buck teeth smile and he said, "Hey, look at me.  I'm a Lark!!".  We all lost it.

John Roach walked through the HAC halls like John Travolta walking down the street in Saturday Night Fever.  Yes, John continued to wear the clothing that Dave gave him on a regular basis.

Definitely a humorous HAC story!
 
Owen Ivey was a very good friend of mine.  Owen and I had developed one of the handshakes where you made about 10 different moves.  We would usually do this when where was a crowd around.  People would stand there and smile as we went through all the different handshake moves.  At the end of the handshake both of us would backhand an innocent by stander in the chest. 

The guys that knew what was going on would slowly take a step backwards while the other little Hackers watched with glee not realizing they were about to get nailed. 

Oh, yes, a humorous HAC story!
 
Here's another one from the Owen Ivey collection.  Mark Crockett loved playing intramural football.  He was a good athlete and was the QB for one of the teams.  Owen had taken the job as the announcer at the game.  At this time in HAC history (early/mid '80s) the announcer would stand on the sidelines with a megaphone and announce the downs, yards to first down, etc.

Mark was having an unusually bad game.  Owen was walking the sidelines as well as walking through the bleachers.  Mark had a bit of a temper in the heat of a sport's battle.  Mark threw an interception and I said to Owen, "I dare you to announce the interception."  Owen smiled and shouted through the megaphone. "Crockett throws an interception".  Mark looked up in the stands and gave Owen a dirty look.

As fate would have it, Crockett's bad luck was not over.  A couple of sets of downs later he threw another interception.  Owen looked up at us, put the megaphone to his mouth and said, "Crockett throws another interception".  This time Mark yelled at Owen.

Yes, I was praying for a third interception.  Yes, it happened!  This time Owen was up in the bleachers.  He shouted out through his megaphone, "Crockett throws his third interception".  Without hesitating, Mark left the field while yelling and headed up into the bleachers after Owen.  Owen saw him coming and was able to avoid him .

We laughed so hard we cried.  A humorous HAC story for sure!
 
RAIDER said:
Here's another one from the Owen Ivey collection.  Mark Crockett loved playing intramural football.  He was a good athlete and was the QB for one of the teams.  Owen had taken the job as the announcer at the game.  At this time in HAC history (early/mid '80s) the announcer would stand on the sidelines with a megaphone and announce the downs, yards to first down, etc.

Mark was having an unusually bad game.  Owen was walking the sidelines as well as walking through the bleachers.  Mark had a bit of a temper in the heat of a sport's battle.  Mark threw an interception and I said to Owen, "I dare you to announce the interception."  Owen smiled and shouted through the megaphone. "Crockett throws an interception".  Mark looked up in the stands and gave Owen a dirty look.

As fate would have it, Crockett's bad luck was not over.  A couple of sets of downs later he threw another interception.  Owen looked up at us, put the megaphone to his mouth and said, "Crockett throws another interception".  This time Mark yelled at Owen.

Yes, I was praying for a third interception.  Yes, it happened!  This time Owen was up in the bleachers.  He shouted out through his megaphone, "Crockett throws his third interception".  Without hesitating, Mark left the field while yelling and headed up into the bleachers after Owen.  Owen saw him coming and was able to avoid him .

We laughed so hard we cried.  A humorous HAC story for sure!
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I recall this and am laughing.

The Ive from row five!!!
 
I really wish I had some funny stories from my time at HAC, but I was too busy studying and being serious the whole time I was there.
 
There was this afternoon that my roommate and I were sitting on the floor, cracking open some mixed nuts with our high heels having a wonderful time.    A knock came on our door and there stood DR EVANS SECRETARY.  She said, "Dr Evans is studying for a sermon and he would like you to stop that noise."
Oh. my. word.  Our dorm room was RIGHT OVER HIS OFFICE.  We were afraid to even walk around from then on.
 
Teri in NC said:
RAIDER said:
Here's another one from the Owen Ivey collection.  Mark Crockett loved playing intramural football.  He was a good athlete and was the QB for one of the teams.  Owen had taken the job as the announcer at the game.  At this time in HAC history (early/mid '80s) the announcer would stand on the sidelines with a megaphone and announce the downs, yards to first down, etc.

Mark was having an unusually bad game.  Owen was walking the sidelines as well as walking through the bleachers.  Mark had a bit of a temper in the heat of a sport's battle.  Mark threw an interception and I said to Owen, "I dare you to announce the interception."  Owen smiled and shouted through the megaphone. "Crockett throws an interception".  Mark looked up in the stands and gave Owen a dirty look.

As fate would have it, Crockett's bad luck was not over.  A couple of sets of downs later he threw another interception.  Owen looked up at us, put the megaphone to his mouth and said, "Crockett throws another interception".  This time Mark yelled at Owen.

Yes, I was praying for a third interception.  Yes, it happened!  This time Owen was up in the bleachers.  He shouted out through his megaphone, "Crockett throws his third interception".  Without hesitating, Mark left the field while yelling and headed up into the bleachers after Owen.  Owen saw him coming and was able to avoid him .

We laughed so hard we cried.  A humorous HAC story for sure!
Click to expand...


I recall this and am laughing.

The Ive from row five!!!
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I had forgotten about that.  LOL!  He would say, "This is The Ive from Row 5 and I'm coming to you with no jive!"
 
Pat McCloskey was my roommate and he worked security. He was working at one of the old buildings a block over from the church and myself and I think Jim Mimidas ( getting old and can't remember) decided to visit him in the middle of the night. We snuck up the fire escape to the roof and worked our way down to the first floor where he was sitting ( napping) at a desk. Needless to say we scared the daylights out of Pat and have enjoyed a laugh about it ever since.
 
Pat McCloskey's younger brother, Joey, attended HAC for a year.  He was one of the funniest guys I have ever met.  His comedy was a Jerry Lewis type.  One night we were sitting around in the lobby and a homely looking girl (it may have been Teri :)) was sitting across the room.  Joey says, "Do you dare me to go over and act like I'm going to ask her out?"  Of course, my encouragement immediately started.

Joey slowly walks over and does a perfect act of a shy guy trying to muster up the courage to ask a gal for a date.  He had the full red face and the shy giggle.  He was like an artist.


 
RAIDER said:
Pat McCloskey's younger brother, Joey, attended HAC for a year.  He was one of the funniest guys I have ever met.  His comedy was a Jerry Lewis type.  One night we were sitting around in the lobby and a homely looking girl (it may have been Teri :)) was sitting across the room.  Joey says, "Do you dare me to go over and act like I'm going to ask her out?"  Of course, my encouragement immediately started.

Joey slowly walks over and does a perfect act of a shy guy trying to muster up the courage to ask a gal for a date.  He had the full red face and the shy giggle.  He was like an artist.
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I was that girl.
 
SwampHag said:
RAIDER said:
Pat McCloskey's younger brother, Joey, attended HAC for a year.  He was one of the funniest guys I have ever met.  His comedy was a Jerry Lewis type.  One night we were sitting around in the lobby and a homely looking girl (it may have been Teri :)) was sitting across the room.  Joey says, "Do you dare me to go over and act like I'm going to ask her out?"  Of course, my encouragement immediately started.

Joey slowly walks over and does a perfect act of a shy guy trying to muster up the courage to ask a gal for a date.  He had the full red face and the shy giggle.  He was like an artist.
Click to expand...

I was that girl.
Click to expand...

Not unless you weighed 300 pounds.
 
RAIDER said:
SwampHag said:
RAIDER said:
Pat McCloskey's younger brother, Joey, attended HAC for a year.  He was one of the funniest guys I have ever met.  His comedy was a Jerry Lewis type.  One night we were sitting around in the lobby and a homely looking girl (it may have been Teri :)) was sitting across the room.  Joey says, "Do you dare me to go over and act like I'm going to ask her out?"  Of course, my encouragement immediately started.

Joey slowly walks over and does a perfect act of a shy guy trying to muster up the courage to ask a gal for a date.  He had the full red face and the shy giggle.  He was like an artist.
Click to expand...

I was that girl.
Click to expand...

Not unless you weighed 300 pounds.
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Pretty close.  ACTUALLY, he did do that to me once.  ~~shrugs~~
 
"At HAC, we liked to mock and belittle the socially outcast and it was hilarious. Oh yeah...we also learned to be like Jesus."
 
RAIDER said:
Pat McCloskey's younger brother, Joey, attended HAC for a year.  He was one of the funniest guys I have ever met.  His comedy was a Jerry Lewis type.  One night we were sitting around in the lobby and a homely looking girl (it may have been Teri :)) was sitting across the room.  Joey says, "Do you dare me to go over and act like I'm going to ask her out?"  Of course, my encouragement immediately started.

Joey slowly walks over and does a perfect act of a shy guy trying to muster up the courage to ask a gal for a date.  He had the full red face and the shy giggle.  He was like an artist.
Click to expand...

He was and still is the funniest guy I have ever met!!!!!!

Jerry Lewis.

Pat and Kyla's son Chad looks and acts a lot like him.


PS  He never asked me out.  I asked him.  ;)
 
rsc2a said:
"At HAC, we liked to mock and belittle the socially outcast and it was hilarious. Oh yeah...we also learned to be like Jesus."
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Thank you, Scorner.  I didn't tell you the end of the story.  Joey married that gal and they are missionaries in India.
 
So you're pulling an Alayman? Congrats. *eye roll*
 
rsc2a said:
"At HAC, we liked to mock and belittle the socially outcast and it was hilarious. Oh yeah...we also learned to be like Jesus."
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R2 you seem to mock and belittle everyone. So what's the difference?
 
The story explicitly stated the purpose was to belittle the girl.

Who do I call out? People who call themselves Christ-followers yet seem to have no compassion for the least of these. If you can show where I've attacked the downtrodden, I would like to know so I can correct my actions.
 
rsc2a said:
The story explicitly stated the purpose was to belittle the girl.

Who do I call out? People who call themselves Christ-followers yet seem to have no compassion for the least of these. If you can show where I've attacked the downtrodden, I would like to know so I can correct my actions.
Click to expand...

Actually R2 this is hackers to a tee! They love the downtrodden and the poor bus kids in Chicago with no hope or family but can't stand the Christian person in the room they live in. Always had a hard time understanding that.
 
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