This is part of the "why" I spoke of in my post. Of course if they leave and stand in opposition to you or to Christ there is no reason to have any contact.How about Demas? Was Paul to go have coffee with him?? And if he doesn't is Paul not Christ like? Laughable. John needs to go back and reach out to those from 1 John 2:19, "They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us".
I would assume that someone who doesn't leave your church can't dictate how/if/when you reach out either-don't think that is really the point. Your statement was "If I've given my heart and soul to you for years and you decide to leave, I'm going to take it personally...But I'm not going to coffee with you. And that's ok." It is unChristlike to refuse fellowship because someone chose to switch churches just the same as it would be if you chose to take another ministry and the entire congregation refused to speak to you because you were "leaving" the church. Why would you take it personally? Is it your church?I stand by what I said: you can't leave my church then dictate how/if/when I reach out to you
When I was in middle school, I quit cross country. Coach didn't reach out to me. In HS I quit track. Coach nor teammates never reached out. Quit Boy Scouts as a kid. Nothing. Quit a few jobs. No one reached out. In all of these scenarios, neither the leaders nor the others reached out. It's funny how we compartmentalize church: if someone leaves you have an obligation to keep in contact or you're not "Christ like".
I lean introvert but most jobs I've had over the last 20 years I've had 1 or more people keep in contact-some for nearly 20 years. Seems very strange that all these groups/jobs you were in, no one ever stayed in contact. I don't think that's the norm. Again it's not so much that you must chase them down but rather the fact that you are holding a grudge ("I'm going to take it personally") and refusing fellowship ("I'm not going to coffee with you")