You might be an IFB If…

If you have ever written to any of your missionaries and asked them "does your wife wear bifurcated clothing pajama items to bed" as a condition for continued missions support, you may be an IFB.
 
illinoisguy said:
If you think the greatest scholars today are Wife-Bruising Peter Ruckman, Gail (the Ripper) Riplinger and Samuel (Gyp the people) Gipp, you may be IFB.

If your church foyer has portraits of Jack Hyles and John R. Rice, you may be IFB.

If every Sunday at your church looks like Old-Fashioned Day, you may be IFB.

If your pastor makes a Parris Island Marine drill sergeant look like a wimp, you may be IFB.

If your guest evangelist finishes every sentence with "Preachin' Time," "Somebody Help Me," "Everyone OK Out There?" and "HAYMAN!," you may be IFB.

If your pastor has ever been ridiculed in a 2-minute sermon clip posted by Tony Hutson Comedian, you may be IFB.
Click to expand...
Brother you should receive this rebuke in loving-kindness that it is intended, but please consider that this thread should be viewed in a similar way to the HAC threads where it's one post at a time! 😁 That was six posts that you just made!😉
 
illinoisguy said:
If you think the greatest scholars today are Wife-Bruising Peter Ruckman, Gail (the Ripper) Riplinger and Samuel (Gyp the people) Gipp, you may be IFB.

If your church foyer has portraits of Jack Hyles and John R. Rice, you may be IFB.

If every Sunday at your church looks like Old-Fashioned Day, you may be IFB.

If your pastor makes a Parris Island Marine drill sergeant look like a wimp, you may be IFB.

If your guest evangelist finishes every sentence with "Preachin' Time," "Somebody Help Me," "Everyone OK Out There?" and "HAYMAN!," you may be IFB.

If your pastor has ever been ridiculed in a 2-minute sermon clip posted by Tony Hutson Comedian, you may be IFB.
Click to expand...


tony.jpg
 
Your DVD player has the built-in software to filter out offensive words from movies.
 
ALAYMAN said:
Brother you should receive this rebuke in loving-kindness that it is intended, but please consider that this thread should be viewed in a similar way to the HAC threads where it's one post at a time! 😁 That was six posts that you just made!😉
Click to expand...
I tossed and turned all night trying to figure out how to approach this topic in love. Very well done.
 
voicecrying said:
Your DVD player has the built-in software to filter out offensive words from movies.
Click to expand...
Brother, these last two posts from you have really hit me right between the eyes, stepped on my toes, and nailed my hide to the wall! 😁

I seriously did like my TV Guardian DVD Player, wish it still worked. I'm not averse to contextually appropriate language occasionally, but there are some movies that I thought would have been decent or watchable but they just had to get their rating up by mixing in some unnecessary and unwanted curse words. That's annoying and distracting to the story to me. Anyhoo.... back to our regularly scheduled program.☺️
 
Baptist City Holdout said:
I tossed and turned all night trying to figure out how to approach this topic in love. Very well done.
Click to expand...
It felt like my Nathan versus David moment and was very gratifying, but thank you for stroking my obviously superior and extreme piety.

😜
 
...if you are accused on a Christian Forum site of being a semi-pelegian and you fire back at them "I am not an ArmEnian!"....

... then when you are asked in return what this has to do with countries of the former Soviet Union you call them a pink tea sipping milque-toast NIV reading girly man!

...you might just be an IFB.
 
ALAYMAN said:
...if you are accused on a Christian Forum site of being a semi-pelegian and you fire back at them "I am not an ArmEnian!"....

... then when you are asked in return what this has to do with countries of the former Soviet Union you call them a pink tea sipping milque-toast NIV reading girly man!

...you might just be an IFB.
Click to expand...
:oops:.... ..wow!... .. that;s sounds like what happened to me here once.... .i got called a semi-pelagian ...and had to look it up... ....i came back at them pretty harsh... ... i can;t rmember calling them a girly man though.... ..but i might have been thinking it..... :sneaky:
 
... if you believe that the Trail of Blood is the trump card to prove that John indeed definitely was the first IFB, you just might be an IFB.
 
ALAYMAN said:
Brother, these last two posts from you have really hit me right between the eyes, stepped on my toes, and nailed my hide to the wall! 😁

I seriously did like my TV Guardian DVD Player, wish it still worked. I'm not averse to contextually appropriate language occasionally, but there are some movies that I thought would have been decent or watchable but they just had to get their rating up by mixing in some unnecessary and unwanted curse words. That's annoying and distracting to the story to me. Anyhoo.... back to our regularly scheduled program.☺️
Click to expand...
I still have a DVD player with that built-in. It isn't hooked up to anything and hasn't been used in years though. I wonder if there's a sanitized version of ebay or craigslist that targets IFBs where I could sell it for a premium. :D
 
voicecrying said:
I still have a DVD player with that built-in. It isn't hooked up to anything and hasn't been used in years though. I wonder if there's a sanitized version of ebay or craigslist that targets IFBs where I could sell it for a premium. :D
Click to expand...
well... ..i guess i;m definitely not an IFB then... .. because.. i didn;t even know such things existed.... ...:confused:
 
voicecrying said:
I still have a DVD player with that built-in. It isn't hooked up to anything and hasn't been used in years though. I wonder if there's a sanitized version of ebay or craigslist that targets IFBs where I could sell it for a premium. :D
Click to expand...
ROFLOL...eBay is where mine disappeared to!

But if I was you I'd take it to a field somewhere and dispatch it with a 12-gauge because if put in the wrong hands, like a weaker brother, it could cause them to lapse and spiral into a chasm of 80s/90s era of Freddy Krueger sequels! My Biblical justification you ask? "Touch not the unclean thing!"

😁
 
...if while out and about in public you don't drink IBC Root Beer and wouldn't dream of being caught with a sucker stick in your mouth because someone might see you and think you were boozing and smoking cigarettes (1 These 5:22 dontchaknow)...

you might be an IFB.
 
...if you preach against working on the Lord's Day with fervor but take your "church family" out to eat at the local Bob Evans after church...

you might be an IFB.
 
...if you take your "church family" of 25 congregants out to eat at the local restaurant and leave a gospel money tract but no tip...

you might be an IFB.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top