Coming out as an Agnostic

[fishinnut]

I've been a fundamentalist my entire life. I even met my wife in a Christian college. But I am now agnostic. I need advice on the best way to talk to my wife about it. How do I tell her that I no longer believe the Bible is "the word of God"?  She is still a believer. Looking for people that have been in this situation before and how they handled it. Or a spouse that was on the receiving end of this kind of revelation.

You won't be getting any good answers here.  These folks are mostly the fundagelical type and refuse to consider other beliefs outside of their man-made creeds and man-created bible.

You'll get better and more honest answers at a forum that doesn't cater solely to Christians.

Correction!

JESUS IS THE ANSWER!

 

[FreeToBeMe]

JESUS IS THE ANSWER!

...that depends on who you ask.

 

[fishinnut]

JESUS IS THE ANSWER!

...that depends on who you ask.

Doesn't matter who you ask or what they say.............Jesus is THE answer.

 

[ALAYMAN]

I've been a fundamentalist my entire life. I even met my wife in a Christian college. But I am now agnostic. I need advice on the best way to talk to my wife about it. How do I tell her that I no longer believe the Bible is "the word of God"?  She is still a believer. Looking for people that have been in this situation before and how they handled it. Or a spouse that was on the receiving end of this kind of revelation.

You won't be getting any good answers here.  These folks are mostly the fundagelical type and refuse to consider other beliefs outside of their man-made creeds and man-created bible.

You'll get better and more honest answers at a forum that doesn't cater solely to Christians.

Like Ransom and others said, why don't you give him one of your answers rather than sniping at the fundys?

 

[ALAYMAN]

Joseph007, as to your OP question, are you wanting feedback on the basis of your agnosticism, or only discussion of how to deal with breaking the news(of your loss of faith) to your wife?

 

[FreeToBeMe]

Like Ransom and others said, why don't you give him one of your answers rather than sniping at the fundys?

Not one of you has had to "break the news" to their believing spouse that they doubt the existence of God. ...so you have no experience in the matter.  And neither do I, so I can't give him an honest answer.    "Jesus is THE answer" is not an answer.  It's Christianese and doesn't mean anything to someone who has recently come to the conclusion that Jesus is not THE answer.

I'm just trying to point him in the right direction.  He won't find any answers here. 

 

[fishinnut]

Like Ransom and others said, why don't you give him one of your answers rather than sniping at the fundys?

Not one of you has had to "break the news" to their believing spouse that they doubt the existence of God. ...so you have no experience in the matter.  And neither do I, so I can't give him an honest answer.    "Jesus is THE answer" is not an answer.  It's Christianese and doesn't mean anything to someone who has recently come to the conclusion that Jesus is not THE answer.

I'm just trying to point him in the right direction.  He won't find any answers here.

If he doesn't find the answer in Jesus Christ he will not find it elsewhere.

John 14:6 "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Anything or anyone else, including you equals eternity in hell.

Rev. 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

 

[FreeToBeMe]

If he doesn't find the answer in Jesus Christ he will not find it elsewhere.

John 14:6 "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Anything or anyone else, including you equals eternity in hell.

Rev. 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

Quoting the bible is useless to someone such as the OP who has come to the conclusion that it isn't the inspired words of God, but merely a work of man. The belief that YOU and others feel it is inspired only serves to persuade you folks, and no one else. 

As I stated in my first post, he won't find any answers to his dilemma in this forum. 

 

[fishinnut]

If he doesn't find the answer in Jesus Christ he will not find it elsewhere.

John 14:6 "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Anything or anyone else, including you equals eternity in hell.

Rev. 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

Quoting the bible is useless to someone such as the OP who has come to the conclusion that it isn't the inspired words of God, but merely a work of man. The belief that YOU and others feel it is inspired only serves to persuade you folks, and no one else. 

As I stated in my first post, he won't find any answers to his dilemma in this forum.

Evidently he has yet to ask himself, "Is there a hell?"

An agnostic is one who choses to believe there is no God. To which God, regardless of what he choses to believe says, "The fool hath said in his heart there is no God." Ps. 14:1, 53:1

But is there a hell?

 

[FreeToBeMe]

Evidently he has yet to ask himself, "Is there a hell?"

An agnostic is one who choses to believe there is no God. To which God, regardless of what he choses to believe says, "The fool hath said in his heart there is no God." Ps. 14:1, 53:1

But is there a hell?

It appears you are ignorant of what agnosticism is, or you wouldn't be asking this question.

 

[ALAYMAN]

I'm just trying to point him in the right direction.  He won't find any answers here.

I'm not sure how helpful it is to say "your answer ain't here".  It ought to be self evident that on a fundamentalist Christian website that people are going to tell him how to find The Answer, and when he sees that for himself it will be pretty obvious that he has come looking for the wrong kind of answers in the wrong kind of place.

As I stated in my first post, he won't find any answers to his dilemma in this forum. 

His "dilemma" according to most on this forum ought to be first about his soul, second about how his wife can be made aware that he ain't who she thought she married.  Personally, I'm not sure he wants answers.  He's been given ample opportunity to speak (especially in comparison to the usually snail-like pace of the forum as it now exists), but remains continually silent, whether it's about his marital dilemma, or his eternal one. 

 

[FreeToBeMe]

It ought to be self evident that on a fundamentalist Christian website that people are going to tell him how to find The Answer, and when he sees that for himself it will be pretty obvious that he has come looking for the wrong kind of answers in the wrong kind of place.

I agree it should be self-evident.  I wouldn't go to any fundagelical site asking the question he did....it's ridiculous to think he'd find anything except for bible verses being thrown at him, and the usual threats of eternal hellfire and damnation.  The only reason I can think he came here in the first place is that he stated he used to be a fundamentalist.

His "dilemma" according to most on this forum ought to be first about his soul....

As an agnostic, he's not worried about his soul, at least not in the way y'all think he should be.

 

[Saved by Grace]

Where forums did abound agnostic idiots did abound also.

If they dont care about spiritual things then that is on them. they will answer at the Judgement seat for them selves as i will for myself.

Contrary to what some unrepentant on here say JESUS WILL ALWAYS BE THE ANSWER

It ought to be self evident that on a fundamentalist Christian website that people are going to tell him how to find The Answer, and when he sees that for himself it will be pretty obvious that he has come looking for the wrong kind of answers in the wrong kind of place.

I agree it should be self-evident.  I wouldn't go to any fundagelical site asking the question he did....it's ridiculous to think he'd find anything except for bible verses being thrown at him, and the usual threats of eternal hellfire and damnation.  The only reason I can think he came here in the first place is that he stated he used to be a fundamentalist.

His "dilemma" according to most on this forum ought to be first about his soul....

As an agnostic, he's not worried about his soul, at least not in the way y'all think he should be.

 

[FreeToBeMe]

If they dont care about spiritual things then that is on them. they will answer at the Judgement seat for them selves as i will for myself.

Ah yes, the ever persistent fundy threat of the judgment seat (and thus, hell) for not believing as they do.  Works every time and has convinced scores of atheists and agnostics to convert.

 

[ALAYMAN]

Well, since Joseph seems to have started a conversation he doesn't want to participate in, nor is he interested in being evangelized , I'll state it in common sense terms.  My brother is now a converted Roman Catholic.  He had something that I would term an "born again" experience prior to his conversion to RC.  Prior to all that for years he was a faithful supporter of his Roman Catholic wife's choice to practice her faith, even to the point of going to RC church with her semi-regularly.  Joseph could do the same.

Secondly, in a hypothetical, if Joe had committed adultery on "Sally" but had ended the affair, all without Sally's knowledge, would anybody here expect him to fess up to her just in order to clear his conscience?  I'd say that's a bad idea.  If he is truly repentant, nothing good would come of the revelation to her except hurt feelings and mistrust.  Secrets aren't ALWAYS bad.  In this case, especially if there are kids involved with church and Christian faith, I'd say he should be supportive at least until the kids are reared.  At that point, if he sees the need to reveal his choice, I think the likely fallout is far less.

 

[Twisted]

Well, since Joseph seems to have started a conversation he doesn't want to participate in, nor is he interested in being evangelized , I'll state it in common sense terms.  My brother is now a converted Roman Catholic.  He had something that I would term an "born again" experience prior to his conversion to RC.  Prior to all that for years he was a faithful supporter of his Roman Catholic wife's choice to practice her faith, even to the point of going to RC church with her semi-regularly.  Joseph could do the same.

Secondly, in a hypothetical, if Joe had committed adultery on "Sally" but had ended the affair, all without Sally's knowledge, would anybody here expect him to fess up to her just in order to clear his conscience?  I'd say that's a bad idea.  If he is truly repentant, nothing good would come of the revelation to her except hurt feelings and mistrust.  Secrets aren't ALWAYS bad.  In this case, especially if there are kids involved with church and Christian faith, I'd say he should be supportive at least until the kids are reared.  At that point, if he sees the need to reveal his choice, I think the likely fallout is far less.

Are you saying this guy is your real brother?

 

[ALAYMAN]

Are you saying this guy is your real brother?

Yep, the guy referenced in the first paragraph is one of my older biological brothers.

 

[Twisted]

Are you saying this guy is your real brother?

Yep, the guy referenced in the first paragraph is one of my older biological brothers.

So can you enlighten us on this?

"I've been a fundamentalist my entire life. I even met my wife in a Christian college."

 

[Ransom]

So can you enlighten us on this?

"I've been a fundamentalist my entire life. I even met my wife in a Christian college."

I'm pretty sure Lamer is not saying his brother who is Roman Catholic is the same person who started this thread. He's saying they have similar circumstances.

 

[Twisted]

So can you enlighten us on this?

"I've been a fundamentalist my entire life. I even met my wife in a Christian college."

I'm pretty sure Lamer is not saying his brother who is Roman Catholic is the same person who started this thread. He's saying they have similar circumstances.

Ah!