You might be an IFB If…

if your church campaigned against alcohol to the point your county was voted dry.... all the nice restaurants closed or moved away... .... and so now you and half your congregation drive to another county every sunday after church for dinner at a nice restaurant together... .. ..... .. .. ...hmmmm ..... .i really don;t know... .. does that make you a hyper-fundy?.....

by the way..... that;s not hypothetical.... . someone who made many such sunday excursions with an ifb church in the distant past told me all about it... they chased all the restaurants that served alcohol out of town only to discover they had nothing left but a macdonlads and a jack in the box... so they drove to another county to a much nicer restaurant with a big dining room... but which could afford to be that way because they served alcohol........
 
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aleshanee said:
if your church campaigned against alcohol to the point your county was voted dry.... all the nice restaurants closed or moved away...
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But that's fine. What do fundies need with fine dining anyway? Tony Hutson would tell you that Col. Sanders' boys and girls make it finger lickin' good.
 
Ransom said:
But that's fine. What do fundies need with fine dining anyway? Tony Hutson would tell you that Col. Sanders' boys and girls make it finger lickin' good.
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Reminds me of another story...

I took ALAYwife on an anniversary trip to Boston 20 years ago. Our anniversary is on the 4th of July so Boston was fitting for a patriotic excursion. We had a good time in general, but a part of the trip was me doing something that's outside of my comfort zone and might fit within your humor about fundies and culture, but it really probably has more to do with my poor economic upbringing than any theological point of convergence with fundy behavior. I am a steak connoisseur, and as such I chose a high-rise looking over the Boston harbor for a romantic meal, replete with mega ambiance, live piano, jazz music, and couples dancing. Attire was required as suit and tie or at least a jacket. I tipped a significant amount to get a seat by the floor to ceiling windows overlooking the bay. All in all I would say it was a fantastic evening, that is of course unless you think that a dinner should mostly emphasize the quality of the food. We both got steaks. She got a strip steak and I got a ribeye, and at that point in my life it was the most I've ever paid for a meal by far, but they were probably the worst steaks that I've ever gotten. She ain't as much a steak person as I am but she likes beef, and she agreed, it was downright awful. Moral to the story, price and highbrow culture doesn't always equate to quality.
 
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aleshanee said:
if your church campaigned against alcohol to the point your county was voted dry.... all the nice restaurants closed or moved away... .... and so now you and half your congregation drive to another county every sunday after church for dinner at a nice restaurant together.. ..... .. .. ...hmmmm ..... .i really don;t know... .. does that make you a hyper-fundy?.....

by the way..... that;s not hypothetical.... . someone who made many such sunday excursions with an ifb church in the distant past told me all about it......
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When I was at an IFB in NC the pastor actually advertised from the pulpit a restaurant in the area that would give 10% discount if you showed them your church bulletin. The church served alcohol, though. I was surprised to see that.
 
tmjbog said:
When I was at an IFB in NC the pastor actually advertised from the pulpit a restaurant in the area that would give 10% discount if you showed them your church bulletin. The church served alcohol, though. I was surprised to see that.
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that actually sounds like a good way to increase sunday business and also encourage church attendance..... .... but... unfortunately... here where i live... it would also encourage people from outside to sneak into the foyer during the service and steal church bulletins.... :cautious:.... ....by the way.... was that a typo?... or did you mean to say the church served the alcohol?.....
 
aleshanee said:
... it would also encourage people from outside to sneak into the foyer during the service and steal church bulletins....
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...if, when you get back from vacation are required to submit a church bulletin to your pastor proving where you had attended church while on vacation, so you go into a random church near the beach and steal one...


YJMBAIFB

:LOL::ROFLMAO:😎
 
aleshanee said:
that actually sounds like a good way to increase sunday business and also encourage church attendance..... .... but... unfortunately... here where i live... it would also encourage people from outside to sneak into the foyer during the service and steal church bulletins.... :cautious:.... ....by the way.... was that a typo?... or did you mean to say the church served the alcohol?.....
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Ya, I meant restaurant...it wasn't that kind of church.
 
ALAYMAN said:
...if, when you get back from vacation are required to submit a church bulletin to your pastor proving where you had attended church while on vacation, so you go into a random church near the beach and steal one...


YJMBAIFB

:LOL::ROFLMAO:😎
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we never thought of that when we were kids .... stealing church bulletins... . ....we did drag an ice cooler full of cheap off brand sodas to the top of diamond head where it was hot and dry, and sell them for 5 bucks apiece.... and then when we learned people were converging on the pile of ice we dumped out ..and left behind after the sodas were gone... we started selling the ice off too, for a dollar a handful while any of it was left... ....(none of that was my idea by the way... i just went along to help carry the chest and collected my share).......

but had we known there were fundamentalists in town... who played at the beach on sunday... and then needed a bulletin to take back and show to their pastor... we would have grabbed the whole stack of bulletins and then sold them on the beachwalk for a couple of dollars each as they were walking back to their hotels.... ..... ..who knows.... depending on how desperatly they needed them ..or how mean their preacher was.... we could have held out for big bucks and made a fortune.... . :sneaky:
 
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If you think that more than one earring per ear for women is “worldly”...
 
...if you dream of getting your MRS degree/certificate....


YJMBAIFB
 
If you believe like Bro. Tony that skinny jeans are evil and feminine.

"Real men don't wear them skinny britches Bless God." Tony Hutson
 
...if you think that the altar call is absolutely necessary and indispensable to the ability of God to save a soul....


YJMBAIFB
 
if you hear that an 8 year old child... was led to Christ on a church bus by another 8 year old.... and you automatically assume it was an invalid 1-2-3 repeat after me conversion... ... YJMBAIFB ??... ..(again... never having been an ifb i don;t really know for sure... but i know you would be like something that use to prowl the old forums and say that)
 
aleshanee said:
if you hear that an 8 year old child... was led to Christ on a church bus by another 8 year old.... and you automatically assume it was an invalid 1-2-3 repeat after me conversion... ... YJMBAIFB ??... ..(again... never having been an ifb i don;t really know for sure... but i know you would be like something that use to prowl the old forums and say that)
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A lot of people are very suspicious of child conversions. ALAYBOY trusted CHRIST at the age of five. I had the privilege of leading him to the Lord. But even in our own church there have been people who questioned whether a child is able to trust Christ. There was a senior Saint who I respected greatly who held to that opinion. I just simply disagree and could give plenty of anecdotal evidences, as well as theological support to why it's not true that young children can't be led to Christ, even by other children.
 
If you got an electronic store to go soul winning and the spirit of Larry Brown compels you to smash every television in sight to make Dr. Brown happy. HAY-MAN!
 
...if you refer to secular universities as Satan U....


YJMBAIFB
 
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