privateuser said:
From: "Tom Vineyard" <pastor@windsorhills.org> Date: Mon, May 19, 2014 4:09 pm To: undisclosed-recipients:; ------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear WHBC Missionary Family, I am writing to you because of gossip and rumors that have been flying around. I want you to hear from me what has happened and what has been done. Last November, the Lord brought to light that I was doing wrong. I had crossed the line in my communications with a female student through text messaging. The communications started out in a professional capacity and then crossed the line in becoming too familiar. I complimented her appearance, her attire, and her perfume. There was no sexual content in my messages, nor any intent on my part. There was nothing that would disqualify me from being your pastor. I make no excuses for what I did, and I accepted responsibility for it. I immediately confessed it to my wife, and she was made aware of the content of the messages. I asked her to forgive me, and she forgave me. With my wife present, I apologized to the person that I had offended. She told me that she forgave me.
One of our deacons headed up a disciplinary committee. The discipline was handled according to Matthew 18 and according to our church’s Constitution. As part of my discipline, I was given a letter of reprimand. The situation resurfaced in March, when gossip began to circulate around church, as well as on Facebook. A second young lady, who I had tried to help reconcile with her family last fall began to communicate with the first young lady. She accused me of calling her late at night and paying her intimate compliments. She claimed to have phone records to support her claims. My wife looked at our phone records, however, and verified that there had been no such calls at the times that she had claimed. The text messages verified that there were no intimate compliments made to her. While I had talked to her on the phone, it was during the day at the church and within ear shot of the office ladies who can hear every conversation in my office.
From what I have been told, those who have an ax to grind with this ministry, me, or my dad, have jumped on the bandwagon to believe what she said and help spread the manure even farther. I met with the deacons and presented the facts. They were satisfied with them. We then had a men’s meeting to set the record straight, and it seemed at the time to have gone well. More time passed, and then it came up again this past week. A now former staff member took it on himself to research rumors about me, going all the way back to when I was in high school. He presented his research to me last Wednesday, demanding that I resign. At the same time he offered his own resignation, I took counsel again from Bro. Ross, as well as Bro. Van Manen, Hearron, Jones, and Finn, trusted men by the congregation to see if what was said disqualified me. Unanimously, they said "no," and I accepted the staff member’s resignation. Brother Ross came and spoke all day yesterday. He was such blessing in cutting through all of the hearsay, rumors, and innuendo in order to get down to what matters. I went before the church at the end of the service, confessed what I had done, and asked for forgiveness. As I did with the church, I want to ask for your forgiveness for what I have done. I hope that this letter will answer any questions that you may have had. If you have any more, please write and ask. I hope that you can forgive me for what I did. Sincerely, Pastor
1.
"I complimented her appearance, her attire, and her perfume." - He never once complimented this girl on her perfume. Not once did he say he liked the perfume or that she smelled good.... In fact, when she brought him the bottles in a bag to look at, he didn't even look at them. He just handed them back to her with a weird smile on his face.
This man was "fishing" and not for Bass...I’ll just leave that one alone.
2.
"With my wife present, I apologized to the person that I had offended. She told me that she forgave me." - Yes this did happen, but not in the way that he is trying to make it sound. He brought her in with the staff member that she had talked to and his wife. He said that he was sorry that she took the messages the wrong way and that he didn't mean for her to feel uncomfortable. His wife then started talking about how he compliments women on their appearance in front of her all the time (Which means she probably is just listening to what he TOLD her the texts said and didn't actually read them for herself) and that he just doesn't know how things can come across wrong in text messages. (Tom Vinyard is not an naïve idiot. He wouldn't or shouldn't be a pastor if he was)
"He just shouldn't be texting because he doesn't realize how weird things can sound...that's just his personality" Funny that he is NEVER that way in person or with any of the other students. But hey...it’s just his personality.
3.
“As part of my discipline, I was given a letter of reprimand.†– His phone was taken away temporarily and he signed charges of sexual harassment. (Something that any employee in any work environment would be fired for).
4.
“The situation resurfaced in March, when gossip began to circulate around church, as well as on Facebook.†– The situation resurfaced before said young lady began to “gossip†about it on Facebook. Just to give you a little history…) The previous fall, before all of this “came to light†Pastor Vinyard had asked the first girl (we’ll call her #1) to talk to the second girl (we’ll call her #2) because they had gone through similar circumstances.
#2 did not know what was going on because #1 had never said anything to anyone but the staff member. #2 called #1 during spring break and asked if she could tell #1 something in confidence because she didn’t know who else to talk to about it. #2 asked #1 if she had ever felt uncomfortable with talking to Pastor Vinyard. Of course #1 immediately started asking why she would ask that and #2 showed her the texts messages and discussed conversations that she had with the pastor that made her feel uneasy. She said that he had stopped texting her out of nowhere, some time around the end of November. #1 checked to see when and yes, it was the very time he had his phone taken away. The text messages weren’t as extreme and blatant as #1’s text messages with him but they were headed that way for sure. #1 then took the information to the same staff member as before. (With the permission of #2). It was brought to the deacon board and then #1 was told that there wasn’t enough in the text messages to prove anything. #1 was told by Joe Finn that she needed to write her name down and draw a circle around it…mind her own business. And then was told she had to sign a document stating that as long as she was a student there that she wouldn’t talk about the situation to anyone but her family. All of this of course upset #2 and then she posted about it on facebook weeks later.
Side note: Which, may I say is why girls all over that country that this has happened to will never come forward. They fear that they will be told they don’t have proof, and then look like a girl crying wolf. This is also why #1 let it go on for so long. Because she knew that accusing a pastor of such things was a big deal and that she would have to have more proof.
5.
“it was during the day at the church and within ear shot of the office ladies who can hear every conversation in my office.†– This is not true, because every time he had a “counseling" session with man or woman alone, he had the door completely shut. He has a window on the door, with the blinds opened. But you cannot hear the conversations.
6.
“I met with the deacons and presented the facts.†– After hearing from #1’s father, he agreed to have a meeting with the deacons, the staff member that #1 came to, and her father on speaker phone. But instead he conducted the meeting without the staff member and without the girl’s father present on the phone. So basically the deacons only got information that he wanted them to have.
7.
“We then had a men’s meeting to set the record straight, and it seemed at the time to have gone well.†– Why have a men’s meeting when you haven’t offended any men?? After the meeting, almost all of the men that were there were more confused than anything. Because they had no idea what had happened and still didn’t after the meeting.
8. Just to add to what I keep seeing on here. Not a single person was fired over this. They all put in their resignation, willingly. They were all just waiting for the school year to end and to see what would happen.
9. #1 had asked several times if she could meet with the pastor again to talk about what was going on. That never happened. And then when Joe Finn caught wind that #1 may come past the next fall to finish school, he had the staff member that she had been talking to tell her “Bro Finn and pastor have asked me to let you know that you are not welcome to come back to school next fall†She asked why and the staff member said “I don’t know. They wouldn’t give me a reason and they will not talk to you about it either†This happened on the day the students were dismissed to go home for the summer.
Pastor Vinyard has been nothing but vague in every “apology†he has given. Never once has he been open and honest about what has happened. “I hope that this letter will answer any questions that you may have had. If you have any more, please write and ask.†Every time someone asks a question they are given the same answer…to mind their own business or the same vague excuses given in the letter. All manipulated to say what he wants the congregation to hear.
